Sunday, October 14, 2007

Sleazy Saturdays Reaffirm My Hatred

As you are well aware, if you've been reading for awhile, I hate shopping for a car. Well, yesterday we spent the whole day doing what I hate most and it just reaffirmed my deep seeded hatred for it and the reasons behind it!

Pat starts his new job on the 23rd and is pretty excited about it but needs a new car, to replace to company car. We've spent the past two weeks or so scouring the internet for deals on cars. We had no real idea about what we actually wanted. It started off that we wanted to go back to our SUV days and get another Cherokee. I was a little excited about this because hindsight showed me how much I LOVED the Jeep. I was also a little cautious because gas is expensive and the Jeep is a guzzler. Then I was looking around online and happened to find a low mileage used Volvo and all I could think of was my dad's Volvo. I learned to drive in my dad's Volvo. The very first deer to ever hurl itself at me as I was driving did it while I was driving my dad's Volvo. The Volvo saw to it that I went to an excellent high school and great university. My dad drove that car until it had 235,000 miles on it and then sold it because he wanted a pick up truck. The car was still running, no problems! It was a great car...a TANK! It had the most temperamental tape player and an air conditioning system that we were convinced didn't work until one day I accidentally turned it on and lo and behold it blew out freezing wonderful air! That car took me down the shore after prom and drove all of my friends and I around any night we wanted. It was a great car! Even a few of my friends can attest to its greatness since they "stole" it one day during school and tried to hide it to freak me out. Luckily, I got violently ill and foiled their plans and they had to return it to its parking spot. So, yes I digressed- shocking, I know. I found the Volvo online and it became my mission to convince Pat of how wonderful the Volvo is even though his heart was CLEARLY set on another Jeep. I prevailed!

We set out yesterday down a major thoroughfare that we knew was littered with numerous car dealerships. Both kids in tow, Nicholas coming down off a MAJOR temper tantrum and a few attempts to make himself vomit, and Addison lounging quite nicely with a bottle. The day started off a little rough but not terrible. The first stop was fine- nothing major to report, we found nothing but encountered our first "Slick Willy". I think his name was Stan but I can't be sure. He left us alone for the most part. Everything was WAY out of our price range so we left. The next stop was a little bit better. We found something we really liked, and a sales person who was actually pretty nice. Slightly slimy, trying to make us feel like we were getting some great advantage because he printed something off the car dealership's website that he "wasn't supposed to". We left that dealership with every intention of going back if we didn't find anything else we liked- we didn't think we would. Five dealerships later, my patience was wearing thin- mainly with the sleazoids we were dealing with. Each time I shook a new hand I felt the need to contact a plastic surgeon for a hand transplant because each hand seemed to get a little grosser. The last hand was the one that sealed the hatred deal for me.

Nicholas was really tired at this point and Addison hadn't had more than 5 minutes of continuous rest all day and none of us had eaten anything concrete since early AM. So, as we pulled into the dealership I had a feeling this was not going to go well. The fact that the place was having a super sale and was covered in people and balloons did not help! We started out on to the lot to check out the used cars and within moments this lanky looking 16 year old kid approaches in a yellow shirt and bad tie. Uh-oh. It's always the same basic conversation..."Are you being helped?"
Us: "We're just looking, thanks." Moving away.
Them: "Well, what are you looking for? I'm Sleazy Sam, by the way. And your names are?" Extending his slimy hand for us to take.
Us: "Well, we just want to see what's on the lot, thanks though." Still moving away but feeling as if we are being sucked into the dirtiest force field ever!

It eventually does break down where we tell him exactly what we're looking for in terms of price and miles. And wouldn't you know?!?! The car we're standing right in front of meets all of our needs, except I hate does Pat. So we move on to something else...not bad but what else is there. This was why we wanted to avoid starting off with a sleazy salesperson- just let us look around we'll come get you when we find something. So, Sleazy takes us to another part of the lot where he introduces us to the red headed stepchildren of the dealership. You know, those cars that aren't certified by the dealership but are perfectly fine in every way- they just don't belong the brand that the dealership specializes in. We find an SUV that we like and Sleazy immediately starts the ball rolling. Nicholas at this point is in full on crazed lunatic mode and we tell Sleazy, as he walks away with Pat's license, that a test drive is NOT possible today and that we just want to know the best number he can give us and we'll come back later. Does that happen? No. Does Sleazy ignore the fact that Nicholas is approaching Linda Blair, aka Exorcist, status? Yup. Does Sleazy overlook the fact that Addison is screaming bloody murder in the infant carried? Absolutely, anything to make a sale!

Sleazy takes us into the show room and offers us a hot dog or hamburger. Uh, no thanks. I see him darting around with license plates and keys and I'm done. I get up and I walk out, Addison hooked on to my arm. This is not happening today- I am not getting stuck buying a car from Sleazy Sam. I tell Pat to get his license back and get out. I offer to take Nicholas with me but Pat keeps him as part of his "insurance policy" to get him out of show room. I take Addison to the car where I feed her and eventually get her to sleep. Pat finally exits and puts Nicholas into his seat but soon realizes that Sleazy still has not returned his license! DAMN! Luckily, Sleazy is right behind us waiting with Pat's license and a business card. Pat tells him we'll be back when we don't have the kids or when they're better rested. Yeah, ok, we'll see about that. We FINALLY get away from Sleazy and out of the parking lot and what does my husband say to me?? "I really didn't like the design on the seats that much." ARE YOU SERIOUS?>!?!?!?

The day ended ok...we went to one more dealership, the one we had been searching for all day. And we're waiting to hear on the loan and the next steps for the car and hopefully by Wednesday we'll have a brand "new" car to tool around in. Keep your fingers crossed...Pat actually likes the seats on this one and the salesperson was far from sleazy!!


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