Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Two Weeks

I wish that I had been chronicling our past two weeks in a regular manner.

I wish that I had written that first night or day after giving birth. 

I wish that I had written about being separated from the two children I grew for 33weeks and 5 days. 

I wish a lot of things had gone somewhat differently but they went the way that they did for a reason and I'm seeing that now....sort of.

But we're two weeks into this adventure and I didn't write a lot of it down but I'm going to now.  We've spent two weeks living in the NICU.  Two weeks of looking at our babies and seeing tubes and monitors and then looking next to us and seeing much worse.  Two weeks of commuting to the hospital and doing feedings and waiting for timelines and good news and bad news. 

Two weeks of watching our babies grow outside of me and inside incubators and hospital walls.

And if anyone tries to tell you that NICU is easy or it doesn't affect them or having their kids there was no big deal, they are (pardon my language) fucking liars.

So, the past two weeks have been like that roller coaster ride from "Parenthood" except there were points where the tracks veered where they weren't supposed to and other points where the cars on the tracks detached and points where the ride just stopped altogether.

And even though I didn't write about them over the past two weeks, I'm going to now.  And I'm going to write about our two beautiful daughters that are tiniest, sweetest and funniest creatures I've ever seen- next to their older siblings.

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