What do you do when you realize that your husband works too hard?
My husband works two jobs and is in school full-time. On his days off he's normally with the kids because I'm at work or at practice or a game or taking care of something for myself.
This past weekend we had a garage sale and I strong-armed him into taking the day off. That meant that the kids were in daycare an extra day last week but that really didn't matter. I wanted him home for his muscle and also because he hasn't had a Saturday off in months!!
He helped us set up and dragged things down from the attic and then he went inside and hung out. He cleaned. He played some PS3. He hung out with the kids- especially when they were in time out. He actually had a chance to relax.
This past Monday he played golf for the first time since the beginning of last summer. The kids went to daycare, again, an extra day. Again, doesn't matter- they'll be home with me tomorrow.
Monday night he was in such a good mood. He wasn't tired. The kids didn't frustrate him. He willingly and excitingly took them up for a bath. He was just so freaking pleasant to be around!!
It was nice to have him back.
Please don't misunderstand me, my husband is not a bad guy. He's not mean. He's not angry. He's just stressed. He's overworked. He's pushed quite a bit.
We all are.
I've come to the realization that maybe, just maybe, he's working a bit too hard. There is very little I can do about that, though. We need the extra money from his second job. We can't afford to put the kids in daycare full time. The second job is with his family and getting out of the family business is harder than it seems. And really, he enjoys working with his dad and brother.
I, so often, talk about taking time for myself and getting a break. But I've been so lax in recognizing that my husband needs the break just as much! He needs a true day off- no kids, no work, no nothing!
I wish there was more I could do to make that happen. I wish that he could have every Monday off to sleep in and play golf or go to the movies or simply lay on the couch and relax. It's just so hard to give that when we're spread so thin.
I think ahead to the coming weeks. Summer means a break for me, although I will be working part time. Summer means I am home much more. Summer means that we can finally relieve ourselves and break one another.
My husband was relaxed and calm and not stressed for two whole days and it was wonderful! He needs that more often. I need that more often.
I see Summer as my vacation and my chance to recharge. This summer it will also be his chance to relax and recharge, as well!!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
What do you do when you realize that your husband works too hard?
Posted by Alison McGeary-Stella at 1:19 PM
Saturday, May 9, 2009
It's 20 minutes to midnight on Saturday night, May 9, 2009. My youngest child just ran the length of our hallway upstairs and climbed into bed with my husband. Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I am so looking forward to it.
We're not going to brunch.
There won't be any breakfast in bed.
My husband actually won't be home tomorrow morning. He has to work.
Tomorrow morning I plan on finishing things that my kids and I started today. Gifts.
I also plan on planting all of the Summer bulbs and plants that we've been collecting for the past few weeks.
Then my husband will be home and we'll join my parents and sister and we'll enjoy a family day.
Today, I spent my Mother's Day eve with my kids and it was pretty great. I can't lie, there were moments where I was ready to send both of my kids into the stratosphere because they had worn away my last nerve and were creating new ones for the sole purpose of wearing them away. But, for the most part, it was wonderful.
We ran a TON of errands.
We started and finished gifts for the mothers in our lives.
We spent the day together, just the three of us.
We ate lunch out.
We picked out flowers.
I disciplined. They ran off in random directions in the store warranting said discipline.
We spent the day as mommy and children and it was great.
My daughter woke up when my husband got home from work tonight, around 11pm. She came downstairs and sat with me and in those moments that she laid her carrot "red" head on my chest my heart swelled and then skipped a beat.
This is being a mommy.
My son did the same thing, and still does. He has those evenings where he cannot sleep or wakes at a respectable hour for us but terrible one for him. He will curl up on the couch or in bed with us and it is precious.
It is perfect.
Tomorrow is officially Mother's Day and I am so looking forward to every part of it. But today was Mother's Day for me and I loved all of it!
I'm not going to lie...sleeping in tomorrow would not be refused!
Happy Mother's Day to Everyone out there that deserves it! May your day be filled with wonderful moments of love and happiness!!
Posted by Alison McGeary-Stella at 11:38 PM
Monday, May 4, 2009
So, I've been running.
There's a backstory.
Isn't there always?
When I was little I adored my grandparents on my mother's side. I would have rather been with my grandmother than with anyone else in the world. My grandfather used to pick me up from school sometimes and I loved it. For a period of my life we lived just blocks away from them.
Then we moved to NJ.
Then they moved to FL.
Many of my Summers were spent in Florida. It was fun. Coming home was horrible. I still adored them.
My father's parents? I loved them. It was nice seeing them. But they were different. It was a different relationship with them.
As a young child I saw them as less fun and the "B" grandparents.
All of that being said, there was something special between my grandfather, on my dad's side, and I.
There still is.
It's hard to describe. It's hard to put into words.
My grandfather is a craftsman. He builds things. He creates. When I was child, my grandfather created a doll cradle for me. It was, and is, gorgeous. He put my name on it. He decorated it especially for me.
And then my grandmother told him he had to make one for each of his granddaughters, not just me.
My daughter inherited that cradle and uses it in the same manner that I did, for her dolls.
I would venture to say that I was my grandfather's favorite. And, I'm not going to lie, I love that.
I came to appreciate my "B" grandparents as I grew older. I came to view my father's side of the family as something different than what I had on my mother's side and I came to see them as more than before.
I also came to recognize my grandfather as a wealth of knowledge, strength, and, most of all, love.
My grandfather, before I was born, battled colon cancer. He lost a large part of his digestive tract. He beat cancer.
My grandfather, when I was a teenager, battled breast cancer. He had it removed. He beat cancer, again.
My grandfather, during my mid 20s, battled the beginnings of lip cancer. He had cells removed from his lip. He beat cancer, yet again.
I have been running for my grandfather.
I have been running for the man that made me a cradle and has showered me with love and stories and friendship.
I have been running because he has battled cancer and beat it, three times.
I have been running because my grandfather is one of my idols and I want to show him that his strength is what pushes me on.
And I want to run to honor the life he has lived and the life he has given to me through my parents and his love.
June 14th I will be running my first 5k to benefit the American Cancer Society. A friend and I will be running over the George Washington Bridge.
I'm scared out of my mind but my strength and my determination come from the man that I bonded with before I was born.
My strength and my motivation were born in his fight for his life the first, second, and third time around.
I am excited to be able to do this for my grandfather and for everyone else that has battled and won.
And especially so that those who battle always win and never lose.
If you can support me I would be eternally grateful. Your thoughts, words and encouragement in any way, shape, or form, is beyond appreciated!
I am running for life, and for my grandpa.
Posted by Alison McGeary-Stella at 10:51 PM