Thursday, May 21, 2009

Breaking My Husband

What do you do when you realize that your husband works too hard?

My husband works two jobs and is in school full-time. On his days off he's normally with the kids because I'm at work or at practice or a game or taking care of something for myself.

This past weekend we had a garage sale and I strong-armed him into taking the day off. That meant that the kids were in daycare an extra day last week but that really didn't matter. I wanted him home for his muscle and also because he hasn't had a Saturday off in months!!

He helped us set up and dragged things down from the attic and then he went inside and hung out. He cleaned. He played some PS3. He hung out with the kids- especially when they were in time out. He actually had a chance to relax.

This past Monday he played golf for the first time since the beginning of last summer. The kids went to daycare, again, an extra day. Again, doesn't matter- they'll be home with me tomorrow.

Monday night he was in such a good mood. He wasn't tired. The kids didn't frustrate him. He willingly and excitingly took them up for a bath. He was just so freaking pleasant to be around!!

It was nice to have him back.

Please don't misunderstand me, my husband is not a bad guy. He's not mean. He's not angry. He's just stressed. He's overworked. He's pushed quite a bit.

We all are.

I've come to the realization that maybe, just maybe, he's working a bit too hard. There is very little I can do about that, though. We need the extra money from his second job. We can't afford to put the kids in daycare full time. The second job is with his family and getting out of the family business is harder than it seems. And really, he enjoys working with his dad and brother.

I, so often, talk about taking time for myself and getting a break. But I've been so lax in recognizing that my husband needs the break just as much! He needs a true day off- no kids, no work, no nothing!

I wish there was more I could do to make that happen. I wish that he could have every Monday off to sleep in and play golf or go to the movies or simply lay on the couch and relax. It's just so hard to give that when we're spread so thin.

I think ahead to the coming weeks. Summer means a break for me, although I will be working part time. Summer means I am home much more. Summer means that we can finally relieve ourselves and break one another.

My husband was relaxed and calm and not stressed for two whole days and it was wonderful! He needs that more often. I need that more often.

I see Summer as my vacation and my chance to recharge. This summer it will also be his chance to relax and recharge, as well!!


Merrily Down the Stream said...

Girl you are singing my song. My husband was so short with the twinkies for a year or two when he was in difficult job situation and stressed out. I hardly knew who that guy was and I was put in the awkward position of protecting them from his temper - YUCK! I thought I was going to have to kick him out to come to his senses. Blessedly that is over. I hope yours eases up too. Children deserve the very best of us.

Kate said...

That is a good point. Husbands/dads need breaks, too. I know mine works and then takes on a LOT of child-rearing responsibilities.

Momo Fali said...

I hope you BOTH get a chance to unwind. I know you guys deserve it.

Helen E.M. Wright said...

me too. I've been feeling guilty for months. Trying to move home has been mainly put on my husbands shoulders as he needs to find a job first, then I can. Which means he comes home from work and then has to work all night getting out C.V.'s AND studying. Meanwhile, I just asked to go out on my own Wednesday night!

Huckdoll said...

I hear you loud and clear. Colin just had his first Sunday off in three weeks after a solid 21 day week or something crazy like that.

It's sometimes hard to put yourself in 'his' shoes. I mean, it's hard on us mothers a lot of the time. We NEED a break, we're stressed and feeling like we're taking the load.

But once I put myself in Colin's shoes - in that 20th day working - I thought, wow. Imagine how hard THAT must be. Being away from the family, saying goodbye so much, getting home long after the girls are in bed. That is hard...and he's doing it for us. That's the thing.

That being said, we're done! No more weekends, woot! I'm so tickled over it and it makes these times so enjoyable :)

Loved this post - and love to have found you again.

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