Tuesday, September 4, 2007

O Tweezerman, Where Art Thou??

My house has become a bottomless pit for tweezers. Expensive tweezers, cheap tweezers, mid priced tweezers, red ones, blue ones, and the occasional silver one. All of them come into my house and promptly disappear! And you know what? It's really starting to PISS ME OFF! That's right, I'm angry! I'm angry that I've gone through at least 4 tweezers in the past 2 months....FOUR!! WTH!??! Where are they GOING?!?!?!
I digress...I'm sorry, this is how I get when the beginning of school rolls around. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I love teaching. I love the hours, I love the vacations, I love it all...I really do...and when I find the right school that makes it even better! I hate that I leave my kids...well, no, I hate that I have to be somewhat involuntarily separated from them. I definitely need a break from my kids each day but there are some days that I just don't want to. (Those days are few and far between!) I can't stand that I leave my house at 5:45 each morning and everyone is still asleep and I have to silently kiss my kids goodbye from outside their doors. I can't stand that I don't get to see Nicholas come running into the bedroom literally all bright eyed and bushy tailed and it makes me a little sad to know that I don't get to walk into Addison's room and see her sleepy smile just as she's waking up. It's hard for me to think about Pat dropping them off each morning and knowing that Nicholas is probably pitching a fit because he doesn't want Daddy to leave and Addison probably has no clue but may give off a little whimper when someone besides Mommy or Daddy takes her out of her car seat and gives her her breakfast. I try to keep those thoughts out of my head all day because I do miss them. The pictures on my desk and my filing cabinet don't do them justice. I can't hear their laughs or their cries, I can imagine them.
Sometimes, I really am ok with just imagining them. According to Pat, this morning was one that he would have liked to have been imagining them. Apparently, Nicholas was an angel from 6:30am until 7:15 and then when Pat went to dress him he went into full on crazed demon mode where he ran around the house screaming at ungodly levels and in tongues. I can sit here and chuckle because I know I would have been a nut job if it had been me and my day would not have gone well from then on. But with Pat, he gets annoyed but gets the job done and the kids to school on time and in one piece.
So, yes, the first day of school, when Pat is doing all the dropping off and I'm busy all day, is hard for me and I really dread it for most of the summer. I love that my kids are getting wonderful social interaction and being exposed to everything, including diseases (yeah that's right), but I miss them and I think about them constantly. I don't know if I'd want to be home with them all the time. I've been doing that for the past 6 months and it's been hard...very hard. Like I said, I Love my job but you know what? I love my kids more! Part of the reason I love my kids more is because my job makes me a better mom. It helps me to feel good about myself which helps me to come home and be the best mom I can be to my kids....no matter how hard it is for me to have them in daycare and miss them all day.
You know what would make me an even better mom? If I could find my damned tweezer!!!! SERIOUSLY, this is the 4th one! It never even made it out of the package!! COME ON!! I need to pluck...I NEED TO...I WANT TO...it makes me feel better...more put together! I'm beginning to wonder that maybe I need to do a "destructive" search of one little boy's toy box. I have this strange feeling that he has a tweezer army hidden at the bottom of his toy box and they are plotting with the toys from China to take over the house.
I need a vacation....and I haven't even seen my students yet!


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