Let's Have a Lead Free Christmas This Year

In light of yet ANOTHER recall...this time on some more Go! Diego Go! toys...I'm posting this link for a China Free Christmas, courtesy of my cousin!

China Free Christmas lists toys and products that can be trusted, so far, as safe for our kids!! Too bad they don't have a power wheels because Nicholas just picked one out! Guess it will have to be a homemade soapbox car! :)

Thursday Thirteen #3

Thirteen "Interesting" Things About Me
Interesting being a relative term...




1. I can put my entire fist in my mouth
I know it's gross but I figured I'd better get it out of the way!
2. I was the President of the First Women's Rugby Club at Saint Joseph's University
(Started by Melissa Byrne)
3. I met my husband in a liquor store
4. I've ground(?)my teeth so much over the years that I no longer have any points on them.
(Makes ripping raw meat apart difficult)
5. I love Salami with Cream Cheese
(Don't knock it 'til you try it!)
6. I was born in New York City
7. I still have the underwear I wore on my wedding day- weird, I know- but they fit-AWESOME!
8. Our wedding was on TV
(Buff Brides)
9. I start listening to Christmas music- sporadically- before Halloween
10. I never EVER EVER wanted to be a teacher
11. I let my husband pick our China pattern
(BIG mistake! Oddly enough, it's pink!)
12. I LOVE the city of Philadelphia- I would live there if my family were there.
13. I always said I would end up with someone who was taller than me-5'10- but I am significantly taller than my husband- and I wear heels!


There you have it....13 "interesting" facts about me. Now you can sleep better knowing what you know- or maybe you'll sleep worse!
Please share your Thursday 13 in the comments with a link!




Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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The MOTHERS Act

Today is blog for the MOTHERS Act. I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you about the MOTHERS act and then a little bit more.

This is from Postpartum Progress and blogher on the MOTHERS Act:

What is the MOTHERS Act? The Moms Opportunity to Access Help, Education, Research and Support for Postpartum Depression Act, or MOTHERS Act (S. 3529), will ensure that new mothers and their families are educated about postpartum depression, screened for symptoms and provided with essential services. In addition, it will increase research into the causes, diagnoses and treatments for postpartum depression. The bill is sponsored by Senators Menendez and Durbin.

Postpartum depression is a serious and disabling condition that affects up to 20 percent of new mothers -- as much as 800,000 American women each year. Yet only 15 percent of these women will receive any assessment or treatment. Let me repeat. With all we know and as smart as we are, only 15% of 800,000 women will get diagnosed and treated. That is so wrong on so many levels. Women are not being diagnosed because they're not being educated and they're not being screened. Untreated, the consequences of maternal mood disorders range from chronic, disabling depression to death. The impact of untreated maternal depression on infants/children ranges from behavioral and learning disabilities to depression and, in the worst case scenarios, death from infanticide.

Specifically, the MOTHERS Act will help new moms by:

• Providing important education and screening on postpartum depression (PPD) that can lead to early identification and treatment. The legislation includes two grants to help healthcare providers educate, identify and treat PPD.
• Expanding important research to improve and discover new treatments, diagnostic tools and educational materials for providers. Since the exact cause of PPD isn't known, research continues to be the key to unlocking the mystery of this condition.

The bill is currently with the Health, Education, Labor & Pensions (HELP) Committee of the Senate. If the majority of the HELP Committee members endorse the MOTHERS Act, the bill will move forward for consideration by the Senate. Without Senate sponsors, the bill could languish in committee and await reintroduction at a future date. The moms of America can't wait for that.

Most Senators rarely hear from mothers (and others!), and phone calls from you and your readers will cause them to sit up and take notice on a specific issue. Writing or sending emails has much less impact. With your support, Blog Day for the MOTHERS Act can truly have a measurable impact.

I encourage each and every one of you to contact your representatives and encourage them to sign on to this! This is so very important!

On a personal note, some of you are aware of this others are not, after Addison was born I was diagnosed with PostPartum Depression. As I put it to one friend, "The depression fairy was one of my first and only visitors after Addie was born and the bitch just wouldn't leave!". After encouragement and support from those around me I sought out counseling and have been on the road to recovery for some time now. My depression was caught early and I was able to get help, that is not always the case. It is so vitally important that we do all that we can to help other moms and families out there who are suffering with this debilitating disease!

It's Over...hmmmm...Ok

I have squandered away my three free periods today...oh well. This is my last free 43 minutes of the day and I have chosen to completely ignore my work before me and surf and blog. I feel good about this choice!

Have you ever had a friendship that ended and at first you were upset about it or at least upset about the way it ended and then you came to realize that maybe you're not all that upset about it at all? I have. I've had a couple of them.

Initially, I was upset about it. It bothered me that the friendships were over and the relationships had come to an end and often it was more about the way that it ended than really the friendship. I came to the realization, though, that it's ok that the friendship is over. Actions following the ending of the friendship showed me what exactly I had been dealing with. I'm alright with it ending...I didn't need that in my life. I needed loyalty and commitment and maturity and support and that clearly was not what I received.

I've found myself, a couple of times, on the side of the friendship that does most of the giving and support and loyalty. The side that recognizes when the other person needs a little cheering up or a phone call to say, "hey, I'm here" or a little something to cheer them up because a major life event, or not so major life event, has occurred that day. Being on that side has often meant that I wasn't on the other side. I was not the one getting the phone calls or emails because I was the one making them or writing them. I was not the one receiving the little something that says, "hey, I remembered that xyz was happening today and I thought you might need a cheering up" because I was the one giving it. And I was not the one receiving the support and surprises for no good reason, just because we're friends, because I was the one giving them. Sometimes, that's ok. It's ok to be on the one side for awhile and be the person always giving as long as the pendulum swings back eventually. I've found that it doesn't always swing back and I'm tired of holding on to it on my side.

Don't get me wrong here, I am not the perfect friend. I have my quirks, idiosyncrasies, things that are difficult to deal with and work through. I can be a bitch and I can be selfish and forgetful but I do my best to not to be that way. I try to be the friend that I want others to be to me and I sometimes wonder why I don't have friends like me. (Isn't that the most self absorbed thing you've heard?!?! Self centered! I feel terrible even thinking it because it makes me seem so great, and I'm not like that, but sometimes I need a friend who does as much for me as I do for them or who at least shows as much concern and care for me as I do them.)

I have friends who are wonderful and who are thoughtful and who are loyal and who think of me and remember me and send me cards and touch base with me regularly. I am beginning to see that I have the friends who are like me. Who are there for me and who have always been there for me but I've been so worried about the other ones not being there for me that I've had a hard time recognizing the ones right in front of my face. So, to my friends who have been wonderful, thank you. You have made my life better by being in it. You have strengthened my faith in friendship and made me see what it is all about. Thank you for being you and for being here for me.

So, yes, a couple of my friendships have ended. And, yes, in the beginning I was upset. It bothered me, but it bothered me because they ended in ways that I wasn't happy with. But we don't always get what we want, do we? Luckily, I'm realizing I have exactly what I need in my friends and that's all that matters.

If I drink Diet Coke plus in the morning does it count for my vitamin for the day??
It's my no point alternative to coffee!

Manic Monday
Frost

I know it's pretty half assed today. I'm swamped at work and I skipped some schoolwork that needed to get done....
The theme today is Frost and I've searched and I've searched for exactly what came to mind when I saw this week's theme and I cannot find an image for it ANYWHERE!
Immediately I thought of Jack Frost from the claymation Christmas special. Don't ask me how or why that came to my head but it did! Jack Frost all white and clue and cold looking.
Makes me want winter right now!
I can't stand scraping frost off the windows of my car in the mornings but I do love the winter and the snow. I love when the house windows get a thin layer of frost and ice and you can "draw" on them.
It's just such a magical time of year when nature takes over and makes everything so pretty- in my opinion!

I'm Watching

Well, I bit the bullet...I'm on Weight Watchers...fun....as I sit here eating my 100 calorie Lorna Doone cookies which are delicious but still...

I decided that since my medication is readjusting everything in my body to work differently and I am clearly not able to maintain an ok weight or lose weight with ease anymore, it was time to do something about it. My friend K and I decided that Weight Watchers was the way to go! I have never had anything but good experiences on WW. When I joined before our wedding, WW actually led me to the TV show that followed my weight loss journey and wedding prep- and the 30 pounds I lost. When I joined after our son was born it helped me to come back down to just below my pre pregnancy weight and jump started my major weight loss to where I was before our daughter was born. WW has always worked for me and I really like the structured aspect of it with points, etc.

It's funny, but I've almost always done WW with a friend. It just makes it easier for me...I have to be responsible to someone besides myself. This time is no different. K and I are really trying to lose a good amount of weight and we've discovered we have no justifications as to why we shouldn't be trying. I used to use the excuse that if I lose weight then I need to buy new clothes and we just don't have the money for new clothes. We still don't have the money but I do have an extra wardrobe of smaller sized clothes that I know will fit if I lose the weight. So there goes that excuse! I used to say that I never had time for meetings or to get them. Now there's a WW center right by my job and I can go online all day and track my foods. Plus, since our house is wireless I can have my laptop in the kitchen with me as I prepare dinner and track all of my points. The only problem I can foresee is exercise. When in the world am I going to fit in exercise?!?!? I had thought about getting up around 5, instead of 5:30, to go out and walk/run/bike but we live in the mountains- hence the blog title- and we do have bears around. I'm just not comfortable with risking my life with a bear so that I can be skinnier. By the time I get home, I'm exhausted. Although, I did used to work out in the evenings just before bed...maybe it's back to that! I've also decided to start yoga on Sunday mornings...lets see how that goes!

Now, why do I hate WW? Because I LOVE food! You can eat anything you want on WW, everything has a points value and you deduct the points you eat from your daily allowance. You also get a weekly surplus type of thing, I try not to eat that weekly surplus or at least only dip into it slightly. I feel I lose faster that way. The problem is that some of the foods I love the most have the highest points. It is all about portion control and I am not good at that....guess I have to get good at it. Hopefully, my stomach will shrink enough that I won't even have to worry about portion control. Although, the only time my stomach really shrinks is when I'm pregnant and God knows that's not happening anytime soon!

So, yes, I'm back on WW. I'm happy about it because it was my choice...I don't have a deadline right now but for every milestone I will be rewarding myself. I think the first 5 pounds might mean a pedicure, a spa pedicure and 10 pounds may mean a new pair of shoes but I'm just not sure yet! Join me, if you'd like, on this journey...we can eat our way think together!

I was Going to but then...

I was going to write about my pinstripe pants that I have on that defeat the entire purpose of being pinstriped...they do not make me look taller or like I have longer legs that are thinner. They make me look a little wider and it upsets me. Then I went to my local newspaper website and saw that an area baseball coach and teacher and community member had passed away this morning and I felt the need to touch on that.

Brian Fleury was a coach, a teacher, a father, a husband. I did not know him well, only met him maybe once or twice at a random baseball game or athletic event but I had read about him and followed his story. He was an amazing athlete who was struck with Hodgkin's' disease as a young man, battled it, went into remission, only to have it return a few short years ago. He passed away this morning leaving his wife and young son. It is horrible that this man, who was kind, loved by many and admired for his strength and courage, has passed on. He's no longer in pain which is of some comfort but I think the thing that is most upsetting is that he leaves behind his little boy and family. I guess that is the thing that is always upsetting about death- those of who are left behind.

I was looking through pictures on a website dedicated to Brian and it brought tears to my eyes to think of his son who has only photos and memories of his dad. Then I began to think about my own children and the idea of leaving them and it was full on waterworks. My family is central to my life, as I'm sure Brian's was to his. The idea that I might not be there on my daughter's wedding day or see my son graduate from college is horrifying to me! Is it a reality? I guess it could be but it's something I try not to think about all too often. I dealt with a lot of those feelings when I was diagnosed with two tumors on my thyroid and I'm beginning to feel them creeping back as I await the results of my cancer screening. I make a conscious effort each and every day to thank God for what I have, to love my children as much as humanly possible, to tell them I love them as much as I can and to hug them and play with them at every chance. But it doesn't always happen. I get tired, I get distracted, I find myself doing other things that I deem more important. They never are.

In looking at those pictures I came to realize that I have been more concerned with stupid things and stupid people rather than those who matter most. I have allowed myself to drift away from what is most important and in doing so I have neglected those that are most important. Life is so very precious and it is so much more important for us to be good and loving people on this earth while we have the opportunity to than to worry about the people who don't really care about us anyway. Why waste our time worrying about the people who are never there for us when the people who are always there we've "forgotten" about? Every moment is precious and every person we encounter is a chance for us to touch a life in an amazing way.

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
If you were a dog, what breed would you be, and why?

It's a toss up between a Boston Terrier- cute and energetic, loves to play- and a Golden Retriever- Friendly, loyal, great with kids.

Soup
What does the color purple make you think of?

Hmmmm....I have two purple items of clothing and they are both from college and they are both from Take Back the Night Rallies that I helped organize for Domestic Violence Awareness. Purple is the signature color for the cause.

Salad
Approximately how long does it take you to get ready each morning?

Most mornings, 30 minutes TOPS!

Main Course
How many cousins do you have, and are you close to them?

HAH! About 20 on one side and I'm pretty close to most them- talk to the majority of them at least once a week. 4 on the other side and we talk about once a month.

Dessert
Take your initials (first, middle, last) and come up with something else those letters could stand for. (Example: SFO = Sweet Funny Otter)

I have two middle names....

Awesomely

Athletic

Monkey

Stylist

Comment and Share!

Supermarket Underwear and Jerry Maguire

The two things in the title aren't really related except that they both are part of my day.
I woke up LATE today and I mean LATE like 90 minutes late. I woke up at the time when I would normally be 3/4 of the way to work. It was bad. No shower...bad outfit choice...poor hair day. Just all around not good. I jumped in our new car...yay....and began the rushed drive into work...praying for NO TRAFFIC. Fat chance, although it was lighter than normal.

It takes me about an hour to get to work, no big deal. I don't mind sitting in the car for an hour, it does help me pass the time after I take my morning meds when I can't eat for an hour and a half. It's also a chance for me to be alone, to not listen to Little Einsteins, to not listen to Music Together music, to just sit and be alone. Lately though, I've been feeling like Jerry Maguire. You know that scene when he's in the car and goes through 4 or 5 songs and comes to "Freefallin"? This morning, I hit "Freefallin" and I had no desire to bang the steering wheel and sing. So I changed the station for the 60th time!! I just want something good to listen to. I can usually deal with the morning radio shows, sometimes they're even funny, but some good music would be nice. Just something to keep my mood up...something that every single other station isn't playing....something unique and fun....something that's not "Freefallin".

My day ended with me buying supermarket underwear. As I said, no shower this morning. I HATE that feeling. I can deal with that feeling if it's only temporary, like if I'm cleaning all day or just running a few errands or going to the gym. But I had to work all day today and then had a meeting that went into overtime after school and then had a bunch of errands to run. By the time I got to my parents I was GROSS! OR at least I felt gross. That's why I bought supermarket underwear. I needed to shower and there was no way in hell that I was putting on dirty clothes back on that had been next to my dirty body all day. So I spent 6 bucks and bought some "stylish" Granny like supermarket underwear. And you know what? I showered and put it on and it is SO FREAKING COMFORTABLE! It almost makes up for the fact that I'll probably get in the car tomorrow morning and have to listen to "Freefallin" on 6 different stations because they all have the same playlist!

Growth Spurt?

I'm fairly certain that I'm growing. Not widening or fattening but growing...taller. I put on a pair of pants this morning, in my mad rush to get to work since I woke up 90 minutes late, and they were short! When I purchased these pants, they were long. I mean really long. Like I couldn't wear them without some type of heel because they would drag on the ground long. What the hell happened??!?!

The jeans I was wearing yesterday, also notoriously long. I actually think I purchased them during that XL phase at the Gap. I couldn't wear those jeans without a pair of pumps on because, again, the pants would drag. Most days I didn't give a crap but these are the jeans that I considered my going out jeans because you can't wear pumps and a sweatshirt...just doesn't work! So, I wore these jeans yesterday and yes, they were still somewhat long but nothing like they used to be!

My favorite pair of work pants, aka slacks, short! Bought them and they fit, had a little extra length but nothing MAJOR! Now, I have to remember to pull them down and have them sit on the lower part of my hips after I use the restroom. What is going on!??!?!?

I do not dry my pants in the dryer so that's not the answer. I KNOW they shrink that way! I wash them every 3 or 4th wear...I know to some of you that seems gross, but I wear pants every day. No skirts for me!! I just don't see the need to wash them everyday...it would ruin them. I wear just about the same shoes with my pants all the time, so it can't be them. If anything, the heel on the shoes is getting worn down and I would seem shorter. Not the case!! WHAT IS GOING ON!?!?!

The pants I have on today cost a lot of money, for me at least. They were like $70 pants. I don't spend $70 on pants...I hate spending that much money on any clothing item, unless it's a "fancy" dress. These pants should not be shrinking!! I bought them because they fit PERFECTLY. Now? Not so much! Could I really be hitting a growth spurt at 27.5? This is really going to freak my husband out, I'm already gigantor compared to him! Good lord this is annoying! I can't stand sitting here in these pants! I just want to put on my jeans and be comfortable, except that they're my going out jeans and I would feel the need to dress up and that's just not going to happen!

Thirteen Things about Domestic Violence
Not the Cheeriest of Topics but Important!
It's DV Awareness Month, Pass these along!!

1. Of those victimized by an intimate partner, 85% are women and 15% are men. In other words, women are 5 to 8 times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate partner.

2. Only about 1 in 5 of domestic violence victims with physical injuries seek professional medical treatment.

3. Every two and a half minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted.

4. One in six American women are victims of sexual assault, and one in 33 men.
(Those numbers have changed, it used to be 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men. Things are getting "better".)

5. The majority of women killed at work are murdered by a current or former intimate partner

6. More children are served in battered women’s shelters than are adults.

7. Only about half of domestic violence incidents are reported to police.

8. The National College Women Sexual Victimization Study estimated that between 1 in 4 and 1 in 5 college women experience completed or attempted rape during their college years.

9. Most perpetrators know their victims. According to the 2000 National Crime Victimization Survey, 62% of rape and sexual assault victims knew the perpetrator. More than 40% of rapes and sexual assaults came at the hands of a person the female victim called a friend or acquaintance.
(There is a 2005 NCVS that supports with similar numbers.)

10. More than half of all rapes of women occur before age 18; 22% occur before age 12.

11. Females ages 12 to 24 are at the greatest risk for experiencing a rape or sexual assault

12. Domestic violence occurs in approximately 25-33% of same-sex relationships.

13. As many as 324,000 women each year experience intimate partner violence during their pregnancy.



References for these facts:
Lawrence A. Greenfeld et al. (1998). Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends. Bureau of Justice Statistics Factbook. Washington DC: U.S. Department of Justice. NCJ #167237. Available from National Criminal Justice Reference Service.
http://endabuse.org/resources/facts/
http://www.feminist.com/antiviolence/facts.html
http://www.girlsfightback.org/gfb/




Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants



Hope Line For DV Awareness

Find out More about HopeLine and donating your used phones and accessories to Domestic Violence Causes.

Wordless Wednesday- In Memory for Breast Cancer Awareness

Wordless Wednesday
My 1st

(I know it's supposed to be wordless, but the picture came out too small! The Shirt reads,
"In Memory of My Grandma, Hilda E. Stella")

GREAT NEWS!!

From Sharing the Journey

Melanie Blocker Stokes PPD Research & Care Act PASSED in the HOUSE!

Oct 16th, 2007 by unexpectedblessing

Yesterday, October 15th at 4:15 PM, perinatal mental health history was made as H.R. 20, The Melanie Blocker Stokes Postpartum Depression Research and Care Act, was passed in the House of Representatives by a vote of 382 - 3!! What a thrill it was to watch from the Congressional Gallery as Congressman Bobby L. Rush made his final, victorious push for American women, children and families.

Please join me in congratulating Congressman Bobby L. Rush, Carol Blocker and his hardworking staff on this pivotal victory which has been the result of SEVEN YEARS of steadfast advocacy. Postpartum Support International was recorded as the number one sponsor of the bill. A very proud moment for all of us and the beginning of hope for more consistent attention to this issue. The bill will now proceed to the Senate where it will join forces with The MOTHERS Act.

Thanks to all of you who have been unfailing supporters of this legislation and the issue!

Check out Melanie's Battle

I Reserve the Right

I reserve the right to go into my daughter's room and pick her up from a deep slumber and hold her. I also reserve the right to accept, and sometimes not accept, the consequences that go along with that action!

Our lives can often be quite hectic and it sometimes feels like we come home from work, feed the kids, feed ourselves, get the kids ready for bed and that's it. The craziness of the evening washes away any chance to spend a piece of quality time with them. My kids go to bed by 8pm. If they are not in bed by then the next day does not go well for anyone who interacts with them.

Last night I put Addison to bed and went back downstairs to do some schoolwork. I wandered back upstairs for bed around 10 or 10:30. I checked on Nicholas, sleeping peacefully- thank God! Went in to check on Addison and she was asleep on her stomach. This drives me nuts- read scares me. She rolls great...all the time...but it still makes me nervous that she sleeps on her stomach. So, I flip her over each time I check on her and see she's put herself in that stomach position. Last night was no different. I flipped her over, turned on her music and she was back asleep within seconds- if she even really woke up. I put in some laundry, helped Pat with something and then, just before I got into bed, I went back and checked on her. She hadn't rolled back over, she was still on her back. I think she stays that way until she knows I'm done checking her, so she won't be bothered! :) I stood and stared at her for a few moments and then decided to pick her up. I just wanted to hold her, so I did. I did not care if she woke up and stayed awake...I would take care of her. I just wanted to rock her and hold her. She doesn't like to be cradled anymore. She almost 7 months old and if she doesn't have a bottle in her hands or isn't being fed then she doesn't always like to be held/cradled. So I held her and I rocked her and she slept the whole time, snuggled into me. It was perfect. I put her down after a few minutes and headed to bed. Pat thought I was nuts- what if she had woken up? Who cares? I would've given her a bottle and she would've gone right back to sleep. I told him I carried her around for 8 months, I pushed her out, I reserve the right to pick her up whenever I want. I also reserve the right to make him take care of her if I wake her up! ;)

WhyMommy's Friendship Letter

The Kind of Friend I want to be.....WhyMommy

Get your tissues ready....

Can I just Say

It is never a good sign that when you approach the faculty bathroom you can smell the Lysol more than 20 feet away!

that is all.

I Am Who I Am. Who are you to tell me otherwise?

Girl over at Fertile Mertile posted this morning and it got me me thinking...

I do my best to teach my kids each and every day, this is my school kids and my own children, that who they are is unique and special. They should not change because they want to be "in" with someone else or they want a guy to like them. It doesn't work that way. If we change who we are we become someone else and people aren't liking the real us but someone who isn't confident enough in who they are to put that real person out there. This is a common occurrence with teenagers and I'm finding more and more that it is a common occurrence amongst adults, too.

At what point did we abandon the idea that we are who we are for a reason? I didn't change who I was so that my husband would love me more. Maybe I did for the guy before him but that's why I'm not married to him. My husband knows I'm an Eagles fan and he accepts me as I am. My husband recognizes that I'm a messy person and he can't stand it but we work around it, and FYI- he's just as messy, if not more. I know that my husband can be closed emotionally but that's why we talk as much as we can and sometimes I have to push him. I understand that sometimes it just is not possible for him to remember to stop at the supermarket and pick up milk but that's why they've made convenience stores and post-it notes. We're who we are and we have grown together. Have we changed? Yes, in some ways but not who we are inherently. I wouldn't love him if he wasn't the hard working, loving and ultimately kind concerned individual that he is. Am I different than who I was when we met 7 years ago? Yes. I've gone through a lot, I've learned how to deal with a lot and I've graduated from college, gotten married, had two children and dealt with some major issues. Some of it I did on my own- no one else was writing my thesis for me. But a lot of it I did with my husband right next to me and my family close behind. I have never had to change who I was for them to accept me.

Why are we changing ourselves and allowing others to dictate that change? I couldn't accept that my college roommate was doing tons of pot and dating a guy who sold drugs, but she wanted me to and she wanted me to come along with her. I moved out. I couldn't accept that my boyfriend was an insensitive jackass and thought nothing of my feelings, but he wanted me to. I dumped him. I wouldn't accept the district manager who continually doubted my abilities as a professional because I was a young woman in the workforce and I didn't respond to being called 'sweetie'. I left the job. I took control and I walked away. I wanted something different and better from each of those situations and I found it. I found the great friendship outside of drugs and addiction with someone different. I found a wonderfully loving man who was not the mayor of jackassville. I found the profession that I am drawn to and really enjoy. I somehow, briefly, lost that. I allowed myself to be dictated to, even to the point where I had lost any semblance of control for myself in the situation and did not see the need to end it.

We are needy by nature. We need each other to feel secure, to feel loved, sometimes to make us feel happy. We are needy and when we allow our needs to become who we are it becomes difficult to remember the original. Some of us are more needy than others and that can be problematic. I teach my students, especially my female students, that being who you are is more important than anything else. Inevitably, they counteract with something about not being able to be unique in a uniform. But I remind them that what we wear and the things we have do not define who we are. It is our actions and our words that define us and make us who we are. It is how we react to each and every situation that makes us who we are and shows others the character that we have.

I'd like to say that in "losing control" I learned something about myself and maybe I did. I know that I was not being true to myself. I was allowing my needs to overcome my character and I got lost. I ignored what was at stake and who was at stake. I made it about everyone else but me and forgot about what I needed until I finally realized that I wasn't getting anything even though I thought my needs were being met. I won't allow myself to get "lost" anymore. I've ventured down that road more than once now and I'm beginning to feel like that saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Shame on me for not recognizing that I was being asked to abandon myself and my needs. No more. I am who I am and I love me for that. My husband and my kids love me for that. My family loves me for that. And my friends love me for that. I teach my kids that their actions show others the character that they have and now it is time for me to practice what I preach.

It's a Batty Manic Monday

Bat is the theme this week!

For more info on Manic Monday

The first thing into my head upon hearing bat??
That's right, Louisville Slugger. I sleep with one of these next to my bed. When my husband is gone, I sleep with it in bed with me hidden under pillows. I also have one in my car but that's more because I'm convinced I'll come to a pick up baseball or softball game more than for self defense. Also, because I used to be the assistant softball coach and I never removed it from my car!

Yes, I sleep with a bat near by. I get very nervous at night. I usually go to bed after my husband or way before and I'm convinced that I'm always hearing something unusual in my house and that unusual noise is an intruder. This past summer when I had to spend a week alone I would walk through the house, bat in hand, checking all closets and behind all doors to make sure no one was there!

Be sure to comment and share your own! Still working out the kinks to have follow me comments but I am looking at your memes!!