Wanted

After my fabulous morning yesterday I was so very lucky to have the opportunity to experience a faculty meeting quickly followed by a diocesean religion teachers meeting. All of the religion teachers in the Catholic high schools in our diocese came to our school to meet to discuss textbooks and curriculum guidelines. It was a rocking good time!

While I can't stand faculty meetings because they are the boring of the boring and it always seems like someone brings up something ridiculously stupid that does not need to have 40 minutes spent on it but just keeps pushing it, I can't stand meetings that go past 3pm even more! I am contracted to be at my job until 3pm except on Fridays. I don't get paid extra for being here past 3pm. I don't get a nice pat on the back for being here past 3pm. There's no incentive, other than I'm not home contemplating cleaning and cooking, to stay past 3pm at my job. Yesterday I was here until 5:15pm because of my other meeting. Yuck! Luckily, I was able to escape the dinner portion of the evening because it was the husband's birthday! I was out while everyone was eating cafeteria style baked ziti and rolls.

The husband turned 32 yesterday. He received a Nintendo DS from me and my parents and Call of Duty 4 from my sister. You would have thought he was a 14 year old boy all over again! It was nice to see him so excited about his gift. I guess I made a good choice when I went with the DS over the dress shirts and ties. While it was his birthday and he did receive gifts, I also received a very nice "gift" yesterday. It was nothing physical. It was nothing material. It was nothing other than words and being wanted. It really was everything at the end of a shitass day.

A number of the teachers that I used to work with at my first high school were at this meeting yesterday. This included the woman who I could not stand when she first started working there because she was my maternity replacement and told my students that I was way too hard on them. But I grew to like her because we found that our knowledge and styles complimented each other. It also included the brother that was the head of the department and hired me and then who, in a meeting at the end of my first year, made me cry (I was pregnant, it was really hormones) because he said I didn't make enough effort to get to know him and others. We ended up being allies and very good friends because we share the same ideas about Catholicism- we believe in Vatican II and the progression of the church. Then there was the woman who was my department head when I left. She was a tough hardnosed B who I couldn't stand when she first took the leadership role but I came to love and really trust and turn to even though we thought very differently on many things. It was wonderful to see them. I was looking forward to seeing them. I missed them. And apparently, they miss me- quite a bit.

Within moments of walking into the room for the meeting I was hugged and greeted and asked about the kids- they all knew about the boy being in the hospital and had kept in touch with me during that time and wanted to make sure he was recovering well. They asked if I was happy. They asked how I liked it at this school. And then they begged me to come back. They told me that I was their first choice to fill in the openings that they knew they would have for the 2008-2009 school year. They wanted me back and bad. I knew they had openings because J, the department head when I left, and I have kept in touch and she's mentioned to me a few times, in passing, that there would be openings and room for me and would I consider it. But this was overwhelming. I was told I could teach whatever I wanted. I was told that I was missed because no one thinks the way I do. I was told repeatedly that I was wanted and needed back at my old school. I have to say, it was wonderful.

If I could take all of the good things from my current job and all of the good things from my former job, it would be perfect. I am happy where I am. I have my own classroom, I have good friends that I really like, people are genuinely nice and caring, and I'm fairly well respected. There are the negatives but that would be the case no matter where I went. If I went back to my old school there are one or two people there that I just don't know that I could deal with. They are negative beyond belief. They are selfish and horribly self centered. And they are truly mean and nasty people- something I had never really encountered before meeting them. There were points when I was happy at my old job. There were many things that I really liked about the place. I had very good friends there, as well, many of whom I still keep in touch with. I was given the opportunity to teach WHATEVER I wanted. I was well respected because I had worked my way up through the ranks and really worked through and with some very tough kids and classes. I was on my way up to the top when I left. There were just too many other negatives. The school is HUGE for a Catholic high school. They just over 900 kids and the building is smaller than the school I teach in now and we have less than 500 kids. Many of the teachers are negative and angry but refuse to do anything about it. And the administration is currently in a changing process which can often make things difficult for the teachers.

Each of these places has its pros and cons. There are some very strong draws back to my old school. Some things that really make me want to return. I won't make more money there- we're on a pay scale, you make the same regardless of where you teach. But I wouldn't have to prove myself as I feel I do here. I don't think I'm going back. I miss people and I miss teaching what I really want to teach but I don't think I'm going back. I don't think that it would be fair to jump ship and head over to another school so close by especially when they aren't offering much of an incentive. It was so nice to feel so wanted. It was so nice to feel so missed. It was so nice to know that I am appreciated, even though it is after the fact. I received such a nice gift yesterday, on the husband's birthday, and for that I am eternally grateful. That gift actually make getting up this morning a little bit easier and made returning to this place where I know m paycheck is going to be less today than usual, a little bit easier because maybe, just maybe, they also appreciate me and value me in the same way!