I'm An A*hole

Did you ever come to the realization that you're an A*hole? I did, today. I don't mean like a mean person kind of A*hole. I mean the walk all over you kind. When will I learn?
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So I told work today that I couldn't stay late because my son was sick. A teeny tiny fib. There's some stuff going on at school and I didn't feel comfortable staying there this afternoon into the evening. Turns out my son is sick. He's been puking the night away. This is how we always prepare for this birthday- he gets sick. It's tradition.
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I prayed to St. Anthony tonight because I lost something quite valuable. I thought I lost it at work and I had a few of my friends at work looking for it. I turned my house upside down looking for it. I emptied every bag I owned, every jacket I have, everything and I could not find it. I began praying to St. Anthony as I searched for the 4th time. I prayed, I begged, I pleaded. Then I walked into my garage because I knew I had grabbed a soda before I left this morning. There it was! Laying on the floor of my garage! I stopped everything at that very moment and thanked God and St. Anthony from the very bottom of my heart! I was and am beyond grateful! Turns out it is always in the last place you look! ;)
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My son has to have surgery. Pretty major surgery. Turns out he's going deaf again. His speech is not great. He's losing his balance. He's having tubes put back in. He's having his tonsils removed and his adenoids removed. I feel so bad for him! I hated going through my surgery- well, except for the percosets! I knew what was going on. I knew it was important and necessary for me to have it and I hated it and I was scared and sad about it. He has little to no idea about any of this and I feel terrible for him. I just want to take his hurt away. I don't want him to be sick anymore. I don't want him to feel pain after the surgery and it's pretty clear that he will be in a considerable amount of pain. I hate it when my kids are sick or in pain. I want to take it from him and make them ok. I would take all of their pain and hurt on myself if it meant they were ok. Those final moments before I leave the operating room are the worst. This will be his second surgery in 2 years- not a lot when you think about it comparatively- but he's so little. This will be the second time I carry my son into the operating room and watch him get sedated and put to sleep- it's horrible. I am not looking forward to this. We're trying to prepare him for the surgery. We got him books on going to the hospital. We're taking him on a tour of the hospital we're trying to get him ready. I think he'll be fine. Me, on the other hand...not so much!
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I love the show Jon & Kate plus 8. Seriously, almost obsessed with it. I watch that and see how Jon and Kate parent 8 kids and I can't imagine it. It's incredible to me the amount of organization they have! (Sorry, the show just started that's why that tangent appeared!)
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The boy is turning 3 this Sunday. We're having a party. I'm excited for him to celebrate. I wanted to keep it small and we are. I'm a little hurt though. My extended family that were invited have decided not to come. I really wanted them to be here with us. I wanted them to celebrate with us and with the boy. I wanted it to be really special and it will be but I was hoping that more of my extended family would be here. The ones who will be here will be GREAT and it will be a lot of fun and the boy will love it- and that's all that matters!!
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I'm ready for summer, yet I'm also ready for a GIANT snow storm!
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Ok, I'm distracted by Jon & Kate- I told you, O-B-S-E-S-S-E-D!
I'm back and hopefully better than ever!
Thanks for the awards, Ladies...I'll be posting them in the next few days!
And can I just say, I have a wedding to go to at the end of this month and I now have scars all over my shoulder and I don't think I want to wear my spaghetti strap number I had originally planned on! D'OH!