Wednesday, February 27, 2008

...Fever...

It seems like lately fever has been around....Yes, in the traditional sense- my son had one for almost a week before we finally got it to break- but also in the non-traditional sense. My friend H wants a baby. My friend K thinks she might be pregnant (but maybe not). Kelly over at Ordinary Art was blogging about this a few weeks ago. And even me, I'm got it a bit. I find myself sitting and thinking about another baby. I look at my daughter who, when she was born, just about reached from my fingers to my elbow and now fills up both my arms. I see my son who seems to have matured and sprouted in the past two weeks into a little boy and no longer our baby boy. And I get nostalgic. I get weepy. I get baby fever. And you'll never believe it but the husband has it too.....

My real life friends and my mother can step back now, take a deeeeeeeep breath and don't worry. We're not getting pregnant. But I have the fever. Most days I have the fever. Some days, when both kids are screaming bloody murder and in foul moods, not so much. I think back to my pregnancies and while neither of them were stellar in the courses that they took, I had my moments where I kind of enjoyed it. I loved feeling the baby move. I loved seeing the ultrasound shots. I loved playing music to my belly and feeling my daughter react (my son couldn't hear it). I loved the planning. I hated the waiting. I loathed the morning sickness. I was exhausted for a good portion. I hated the weight gain and swelling. I loved the end result. And by the end I was ready....well, I was for my son. My daughter could have given me a few extra weeks but we made it! We asked the boy last night if he'd like another baby brother or sister and at first he asked for both. Then he asked for a baby brother, he already has a baby sister. The husband and I looked at one another and just sort of shrugged. It was an agreement shrug. It was an ok at some point down the line we can manage that shrug. It was a yeah we'd kind of like to give you a baby something shrug. It was weird.

We're not getting pregnant. We're both in school. I am beyond determined to finish my Masters- despite how much I hate my one class. The husband is determined to finish his degree also. We live in a house that's just too small. We have a bank account that is just too empty. And our lives, right now, are just right- well they are getting there. I am enjoying, or I will be soon, sleeping through the night. I am liking that my boobs don't hurt every moment of the day. And I am ok with the fact that my jeans don't have elastic or a giant fabric panel in them. Will all of that still hold true two years from now? I don't think so but I don't know. We're getting rid of our baby stuff. It's from when our son was born and most of the safety dates will expire before we even consider getting pregnant again. Maybe we're sealing our fate with that. Maybe I should hang on to the swing and the glider and bouncer and the bumbo but I'm not. I'm keeping some of the clothes. I'm giving some away- keep your eyes open J, your big man has some stuff coming his way! And I'm selling a lot. I want another baby but not just yet.

So, here is what I've decided. I have baby fever....I don't see it going away any time soon. Everyone out there who is of childbearing age and capability, go get pregnant. I'll throw you a shower, I'll be your lamaze/bradley/whatever partner, I'll be there every step of the way if you want me. Just please, someone have a baby so I don't have to!

12 comments:

Kelly said...

What is it, the spring? It's like baby crazy everywhere I turn. I'm torn. Some days I crave another baby. Other days, like today when both woke up cranky, I think, please tie my tubes. Who knows!

The Egel Nest said...

I am glad I only have had the flu and not the "other" fever this winter... :)


Bradley
The Egel Nest

Momo Fali said...

See what a great Mom you are?!! Even after everything you've been through lately, you still want another one! A lot of people would give up.

LunaNik said...

Yep, I have the fever too. But like you I just know that now is not the time. But oh do I ache for a baby!! Now that my Stella is finally talking it's clear that she's no longer my 'little baby' and is now my younger toddler.

lattemommy said...

Oh boy, I think Kelly's right. It's the spring thing. I totally have baby fever, too. Badly enough, in fact, that I convinced my husband and we're busy trying to have another. He can't understand why I want to do this to myself, but he's willing to give it the old college try. (Men, they're always up for it!)

(Just in case you're worried my husband doesn't actually want another, I can assure you he does. He's just a little worried that another one might take my sanity away.)

OHmommy said...

So sorry dude... I am not ever getting pregant again.

You are on your own. :) Heeheee

Huckdoll said...

Wow, Stella. I think you will have another baby. You guys need to complete your family. I feel the same way you do.

Our living space is too small, there's that suburbs issue, I miss my body, etc...but sometimes I think back to being pregnant and remember how happy I was. Filled with life and hope. So healthy. Feeling the girls play and kick in my belly...it was the best feeling ever. Most of the time.

It's funny how we forget the crappy stuff.

I don't really feel like my family is complete either, but I'm going to give it a good 3-4 years to find out if 2 girls is enough for us. I'd love to have a boy...Baby Daddy is such a guy's guy, you know?...but taking the chance of having 3 girls drives me bananas!

Great post, loved it :)

Karen C. said...

Don't look at me!! I'm SO not having any more. But I'll cuddle yours if you do!! :)

Caffeine Court said...

Hey-found you through Nikki! I'm a Jersey Girl too! Monmouth County. How about you?

Kelly said...

I must know what T.V. show. I am going to stalk you until you tell me. Actually, I am just going to plain stalk ya.

Kimmylyn said...

I always get the fever but I so don't want to have another one because two is plenty.

I totally hear where you are coming from on this.. :)

Anonymous said...

Yup I got it too!
-J

 
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