Saturday, December 22, 2007

Happy Birthday

My daughter turned 9 months old on the 20th. 9 months ago on March 20th at 8:25 in the morning I gave birth to a child that for weeks looked like a raw chicken, she was that tiny and scrawny. This morning that same child ate 1/4 of a stage 3 jar of Chicken and Stars, 1 whole stage 3 jar of green beans, corn and rice, and 1 whole stage 3 jar of fruit dessert mixed with oatmeal cereal, plus a cup of juice. (In case you hadn't noticed, I don't make my own baby food!) Where exactly did the last 9 months go?

Sometimes I feel like I missed the first few months courtesy of the PPD but then I look at all the pictures we have of her from those first months and I realize I was there, just not all the time. I promised myself when she came along that I would savor those moments when she just wanted to be held more than I had with the boy. I did, a little bit. I wish I had savored them more.

Our daughter was a HUGE surprise. There are a lot of pieces to the store and I may have even told it before but the short form is as follows. After a medical diagnosis, we were told that I wouldn't be able to have anymore kids until the disease was cured or at least very well managed. I started radiation treatments and found out after my first one that I was pregnant. EVERY SINGLE TEST I TOOK WAS NEGATIVE. I even had a blood test- NEGATIVE. I could not tell you much about the morning I got the positive test except that I was scared out of my mind because I was convinced that our unborn child was going to have 4 heads and 3 arms. We were not ready for another baby. We were not prepared. We were nervous. I was scared about what this pregnancy would do to my body and how my medications would affect my baby. I was watched VERY closely over the next 8.5 months. We hit a number of bumps in the road but on March 20th after 12 hours of induced labor and 4 pushes our teeny tiny preemie entered the world- perfectly. She didn't open her eyes much for the first month or so- slightly nerve wracking. She put herself back to sleep after her middle of the night feedings- amazingly wonderful. She ate like a champ- 50 ounces of formula by the time she was 3 or 4 months. Where did the time go?

I still have my moments with her. So much about my pregnancy and birth with her made me nervous. I scrutinized every little move she made or did not make. She was and still is so different from the boy and how he grew and developed. (He was on time- she was 5 weeks early) I worry that she's not doing the same things that the boy was doing at her age. Then I remember, she's a month behind. She wasn't ready to come- but she had to so that both of us could survive. I remember that kids are SO VERY DIFFERENT. They develop so differently. They do things at different times and sometimes they don't do the same things at all. I remember that when it's time for her to do what she's supposed to, she will.

My son, along with his grandmother and my grandmothers, taught me how to be a mom. My daughter has taught me the patience it takes to be a mom to two. To two different children. To two unique babies. To two wonderful humans. As we get ready to celebrate her first Christmas I can't help but be eternally grateful that the doctors were wrong. I can't help but wonder what right now would be like if we hadn't been pregnant at this time last year. I can't help but consistently surprised by the gift that we have been given in our two kids and by the gift that we all receive each Christmas.


lattemommy said...

A beautiful post. I'm glad that the doctors were wrong, and I'm glad that all your worrying was for naught. Kids are amazing.

Happy Holidays!

OHmommy said...

Heehee... were you listening in on our dinner conversation tonight?

LOL. Funny. Truly a blessing. Celebrate their differences and enjoy your first Christmas together. Merry Christmas!!!

Don Mills Diva said...

You are a lucky woman - hope you enjoy a wonderful Christmas with both your kids!

crazy working mom said...

Whew! I'm glad everything's okay. Happy 9 months to that sweet little one.

Merry Christmas! :)

Girl said...

Made me a little teary... ahhhh. Kids really are amazing.

Monica said...

Wow - you went through so much! What a blessing you've been given.

BTW - I'm tagging you for a Meme. Would love to know more about you, so you're it. See my blog for details. :)

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