Thursday, April 3, 2008

Worst Frat House EVAH!

My inspiration for this post? Besides the events that I will share with you, this quote:

"Having children is like living in a Frat house -- nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up."
Ray Romano

Allow me to make something perfectly clear before I continue, I never lived in a frat house, ever. I did grace the inside of many frat house on Drexel's Fraternity Row and even a few at Penn but I never, ever lived inside of one. I had friends who did. I've seen movies. I know enough to understand what it might be like to live inside of a frat house. And I believe that I am fairly close to living in one. The worst one EVER!

The boy has been sick. Tuesday night we were sitting around doing nothing. The husband was doing schoolwork, I was watching TV, we had eaten our dinner- the boy wanted nothing to do with it and he was laying on the couch with me. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, the vomit starts flowing. Like water, I tell you. One minute he's playing nicely and enjoying himself, the next he's standing in front of me power puking.

What's power puking you ask? Let me know those times when you are in the midst of a giant drinking fest. You know, college days, um, frat parties, bachelorette parties, Wednesday nights. So you're in the midst of drinking and you've knocked back quite a few and all of a sudden it hits're going to blow. But it's ok. You know that it's ok because you need one or two good power pukes to get you over this hump and then you can go back to enjoying yourself and mingling. You head to the closest bathroom and do the deed and then head back to the party and grab yourself another cup of mysterious jungle juice and go on with the night, no one the wiser. Get it?

Well, Tuesday night my son had his first power puke, or so I thought. He literally stopped mid sentence, mid playing, mid everything, puked, cried and then asked for soemthing to eat. I was convinced that he was fine. He had eaten some bad cheese or drank some bad juice. One power puke and we were done. No. Such. Luck. My son has not mastered the art of the power puke. The puking progressed through the night until finally around 5 or 6 am, just after I had called out of work, he puked one last time- to make sure any and all bile was out of his stomach- and then passed out cold asleep in our bed. It was like all the nights I fondly remember from college drinking nights.

The husband took the girl to daycare, there was no way I was letting her get near the puke fest and possibly catch it. She eats more than I do- I don't want to have to deal with that when it comes up. He went to work and the boy and I, well, we slept for a long time. He was exhausted from puking all night long. Tossing and turning. I was exhausted from jumping each time I heard him cough or start to gag and get ready blow. It was just like college. We slept until 11 or a bit later when finally the boy woke up and requested a juice box. I was fearful. I didn't want to put any type of substance into his body for fear that it would be expelled a short time later. But he was begging.

A juice box and some pretzels it was. And I waited and followed him with towels and rags to clean up any appearance of vomit. It never came. He didn't eat much. He laid around all day. He didn't play. He didn't even ask to watch anything on TV. Then around 4:30 or so he fell asleep on the couch. He did not wake up until 6am Thursday morning. It was INCREDIBLE!

So, yes, the worst frat house EVAH! No beer, no booze, no dance music or beer pong. Just puking, lots of crying, people passed out on couches and crap, aka toys, EVERYWHERE! You know what, though? As much as I enjoyed my time in the frat houses of Philadelphia, I enjoy my time in this frat house infinitely more! Minus the puke....always minus the puke!


The MomBabe said...

definitely minus the puke. blah.

~sending non-puke vibes~

Kelly said...

You know what helps. Ginger snaps. Seriously. Ginger helps to calm the tummy. I used to scarf them down during the first trimester when everything made me wretch.

Sorry about your frat house experience. Hope your little guy is feeling better.

crazy working mom said...

I'll have to remember Kelly's ginger snap trick. We are just getting over a puke fest around our house! It's been a long week. *sigh*

I'm sending good vibes your way.

Huckdoll said...

Ewwww :( I totally couldn't be a trooper like you on this one. But then again, you know my history with puking. Never done it, but hearing it and seeing it always makes me gag and want to puke...

Thankfully, the handful of times the Terrible Two have puked, Baby Daddy has been home to take care of business while I hide my nose and eyes in a pillow :S

Kelley said...

ahhh, so that is what a frat house is like?


Boo likes to put his hand in front of his mouth. With his fingers splayed. To make a fountain.


Momo Fali said...

We never have power pukes here. It's more like marathon pukes.

LunaNik said...

I'm actually pretty good with puke. Seriously. I take it like a champ. Just breathe thru my mouth and clean it up quick.

Immoral Matriarch said...

Puke doesn't phase me. I don't know why...

Maybe because it isn't fully digested yet.

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