When Did This Happen?

This past weekend we purchased a small swing set/climber for the kids. The park is about 10 minutes from our house and the kids love it there but sometimes it is just too much of a pain in the ass to schlepp them over there. Plus, having this new "toy" in the backyard makes future play dates with friends and cousins a lot more fun and it also makes it a lot easier for us to have dinner outside and have the kids right there with us. There were a lot of bonuses and the thing was not expensive. Once we get the pool out, it will be a veritable happy land in our backyard!

So, these past few days the boy has been heading outside as soon as he gets home from school and playing on it. He comes in, briefly, for dinner and then right back out- unless we go for a walk. He seriously LOVES this thing and I am so happy we "splurged" and got it for them! We've been sitting outside with him and watching him but we've also been right inside with the screen door open watching him that way. When we sit and watch him from inside the house his inhibitions are gone and he is totally off in his own world.


The boy plays on his castle and creates this world of pirates and Dora and Diego. He imagines being on the ocean and sailing into the water while sliding down the slide. And as he plays he narrates everything. His mind going a mile a minute. He is fascinating to watch and listen to. And it makes me a little sad, but good sad.

Where did my little baby go? When did he get so big? When did he start using his imagination and making up stories? When did he become a little boy and stop being a baby and when does it all stop? I used to dream of the days when he would tell me he loved me, he does. I used to long for the days when he would be able to feed himself and handle his juice or milk on his own, he can. I would spend endless time thinking of the moments when he would dress himself and get ready all on his own, we're just about there. I wished my days away. I was there for all of that. I was there the first time he said "I Love you" back. I was there the first time he asked for a hug and a kiss. I was there the first time he opened his own juice box and proceeded to down it in seconds flat. I was there for all of those moments and they were wonderful but why did they go by so quickly?

Up until this point in the boy's life I haven't been able to remember the moments in my childhood that correspond to the one's he was experiencing. I don't remember being 1 or 2 and the milestones that accompanied those years. But, now, the boy is starting to use his imagination. He's starting to dream and create stories. He's creating worlds beyond this one and they are fabulous and exciting for him and for me. I remember those days of my childhood. I remember playing outside, by myself, for hours on end. I remember conspiring with my friends to create marvelous fantasy worlds where we played for days and days. I'm starting to get to the point where the things that the boy is doing are things I remember doing and it's incredible to me.


I can't believe we've come this far. I can't believe he's 3. I can't believe he's beginning to be able to read- he read the word ICE at the gas station tonight. I can't believe that the scrawny little monkey that entered our lives 3 short but long years ago is now a little boy who is growing up faster than I keep up with. It's so exciting to watch. It's wonderful to experience and live through. I am honored that he is my son and he's sharing all of this with me. It's melts me every time he says "I love you, too". It brings tears to my eyes when he tells me I did something really good because it means that he is hearing he does things "really good" a lot. It means we are doing things right. I adore when he showers his little sister wit hugs and kisses and begs to play with her. I just love all of this but I am afraid of how fast it is all going. I worry that I'm going to roll over one morning and it will be 25 years later and his first baby will be running into our bedroom to say good morning to grandma and grandpa. Again, I'm trying not to wish the moments away. I just sit and watch him and use my imagination, while he uses his.