Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Moments to Come

So, we're going to this benefit on Thursday night. I feel like such a socialite when I say that. You know, like one of the Real Housewives of NYC. (Love that show! Crappy reality TV AT. ITS. BEST!) So, yeah a benefit. I'm excited. It should be a good time. I'm still trying to decide on a dress...I have this black one that I wear, well, to every formal event I go to. Which is not many. And I just bought a new dress. A Vera Wang. On Ebay. Tags on it and everything. It was cheap. I'm excited to see how it looks. We'll see. But I just made an appointment to have my hair done. I figured, I saved a TON of money by buying off Ebay- seriously, the dress was less than $60 bucks- instead of off the rack (not that I would have bought Vera Wang had it not been on ebay) so I can afford to get my hair "did" for the evening.

ANYWAY, I made this appointment and the very nice woman at the salon informed me that I should bring any accessories I may want in my hair with me. Ok. No problem. No accessories needed. I want something simple and classy. Not 1996 junior prom, giant curls on top of your head and annoying ringlets at the side of your face that go limp before you even get to the dance. Just a very simple up do that I can't do on my own. Appointment made. Excitement building.

I hung up the phone and started thinking about accessories. Not because I was planning on using any- in case I didn't make it clear, I'm not. But because I have this pearl comb in my jewelery box at home that is probably the only accessory I have EVER worn in my hair that was really completely decorative and pretty much non-functional. I wore it on my wedding day.

When I found my wedding dress, I was surrounded my mother, my godmother and most of my bridesmaids (I had 10). We all knew it was the dress when I put it on. I still get goosebumps thinking about that day and about the dress. God, I love my wedding dress. Seriously. I also knew that I wanted a looooooooong veil. I had a cathedral length veil, no blusher. I didn't want anything hiding my face. Finally, I knew I did NOT want a tiara. It just didn't work for me. I had no idea what I wanted up there making the top of my head look pretty but it wasn't going to be a tiara. They make my head look stupid.

I searched and searched and searched for an accessory to wear on my head that was elegant and beautiful and befitting of the rest of my ensemble. I found it online and my godmother purchased it for me- a gorgeous pearl comb. I loved it. I still do. It sits in my jewelery box, only ever having been worn on my wedding day. I really don't know where my garter is. My dress and veil are boxed up and preserved. My shoes from the day sit in my closet, probably never to be worn again. I do still have the underwear I wore that day. (Weird, I know, but they were my something blue) My point is everything else has kind of been put away for one reason or another. My comb sits there as a daily reminder, each time I go into my jewelery box for a necklace or bracelet or ring, of that day.

My comb popped into my head after I made my appointment and the vision that came to mind was my daughter. I don't know that she will be my only daughter. I don't know that she will definitely get married and have a big dress and a big day. I don't know that she will even want it, but I had this vision of handing her my comb. (Unfortunately, in that vision we were still in the house we're in now but I think that's a technicality!) I could not see her face, because I don't know how absolutely stunningly gorgeous she'll be when it's time to share the comb with her. I could see her and I standing in front of the jewelery box her father gave me one of our first Christmases together. I could see her red hair and her creamy complexion. And I could see the comb and the feelings that I had, for an event that is not even close to occurring and may never occur, were incredible. I am excited for that. I am excited to pass along that pearl comb to her and to any other daughters I may have. The idea that my daughter could one share in something so special with me is unbelievable to me.

I have learned to not wish away these days and months and years because they go by so quickly. Before we know it our children will be handing us grandchildren (hopefully) and it will have all gone by so quickly. These days are precious. They are priceless. They are magical. But there is so much magic in the moments to come that sometimes I cannot help but hope for them and dream of them.

6 comments:

LaskiGal said...

First--please post pics! I'd love to see everything from your Ebay steal to you in your gorgeous gown and train!

Secondly, what a sweet post. So wonderful that you are thinking of this and that you have such wonderful memories that you will one day pass on to your daughter. And no matter what, she'll look at that comb and always think of your special day . . . and maybe, on day, of her own.

Lovely . . .

OHmommy said...

OMG Stella... I love that show too. I DVR it.

So, is that how women in NYC are truly like?

LOL. Have a great time. Your dress sounds lovely. Will you FINALLY put some pictures on your blog. :) Please?

Kelley said...

Moo's debutante ball did it to me last year. Dressed in what essentially was a wedding dress, looking like a woman...

Still makes me feel bittersweet.

Looking forward to seeing you in your bargain dress that you will tell everyone you bought retail! *snort*

Huckdoll said...

Awe, Stella, that was such a beautiful post. You really made me think about no wishing away the days - because I so often do. Part of my hiatus has been spent with the girls and really drinking them in and it's been fabulous. However, two week later, I'm finding myself starting to thinking about when they're in school, etc. Anyway, thanks for this.

PS. Your dress and wedding details were fabulous. Ten bridesmaid?!?!

Momo Fali said...

Aw! This was so beautiful (even the technicality). I'm sure your daughter will be honored to wear that comb someday.

LunaNik said...

You have a beautiful pearl hair comb for your daughter...

I have a rubbermaid bin full of fishnet shirts and pants with chains on them for mine...

Heh. Wow.

 
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