Yesterday was a terrible no good very bad day for me for no other reason except that I let myself get so down and sad that I couldn't pull myself out.
It started in the morning, some song- wish I could remember which one, came on the radio on my way into work. And then my mind wandered. And then the tears. And then the downward slump.
And that's where I stayed for a lot of the day.
I left work to get some stuff to get ready for my best friend's birthday. She turned 40 today. I wanted to get her gift and some gag stuff and decorations. I was still down.
I came back to work to get ready for basketball practice and a friend of mine, a teacher from my department, was staying late to help the seniors decorate for the hallway competition.
He and I sat on the floor of the school, watching his current students and my former students decorating for Christmas, and we just talked. He was going to his wife's work dinner- she works with a bird sanctuary. We joked about how awkward it would be to eat any type of bird at the dinner. We laughed and really talked about nothing in particular.
And I walked away significantly lighter.
Last night, I had a conversation with another co-worker/friend with whom I've been struggling and it was normal and fun. I walked away even lighter.
I stopped to get more decorations for my friend's birthday. I thought of how wonderful she has been. I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am to have a friend like her. She has been incredible and I am extremely blessed. I realized how lucky I am as I walked through the dollar store. And I headed home feeling that much better.
I got home and my husband listened as I described my sad day that was only sad because I allowed it to be. And he just listened. He didn't offer me a solution. He didn't say it was going to be ok. He. Just. Listened.
And I was relieved.
This morning I came into work and there was a six pack of Guinness on the floor of my room with the kindest card.
And, again, I came to see how lucky I am. I am surrounded by the most incredible people. I am supported by the most wonderful friends and family.
I am lucky.
I have no idea what Tuesday will bring.
I don't want to hear that it's going to be ok because no one really knows that. I don't know what lies ahead of me after my tests on Tuesday but I know, more than I know anything else, that I will have the most incredible support system regardless of what the outcome of all of this is.
And for that I am lighter and happier.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Lightening Up
Posted by Unknown at 9:37 AM
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3 comments:
a good friend of mine once said to me "you have a choice every morning to be happy or to be sad."
HUGS!!!!
I already know the outcome but wanted to say that friends are my glue.. they keep me together when I can't ...
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