Sunday, July 6, 2008

The Good Days Always Seem to Follow the Bad Ones

Thank you all for your anniversary wishes! We had a really nice evening! Dinner out, spent time talking and just being was perfect!

As part of my parents' anniversary gift to us they volunteered to take the kids from Friday night until Sunday. It was a wonderful gift. I felt kind of bad handing the kids over for that long even though they volunteered. I didn't let that feeling stop me.

Friday night, after a day of parade watching, bbq eating and playtime inside away from the rain, the husband and I drove home. Without our children.

I really hoped for a good night for my parents. I hoped that my kids would sleep past 7am for once. I hoped my son would magically be ok with separating himself from his own feces and start pooping in the toilet. I hoped that my daughter would forget the word 'no' for just one day. I hoped that my kids would be the absolutely perfect angels that I know they can be- occasionally.

Meanwhile, we got home, watched some tv and headed to sleep. The husband rose the next morning-quite early- for work and I slept in. I slept in for the first time in probably 3 years. When I did finally awake I sauntered downstairs, turned on the TV, changed 'Little Einsteins' to the Food Network and vegged. I spent the majority of my day on the couch in my pajamas. I did some school work. Watched a movie. Tried to get a haircut and realized that I had no vehicle so I gave up that goal. Talked with some friends. Relaxed.

And I missed my kids.

Yeah, I bitch about them. They are a HANDFUL. They are not bad. They are not evil. They are not terrible. They are a three year old boy and a one year old girl. They are totally normal and completely wonderful. They take all of my energy and patience and give me all of their love. The test every inch of my being on some days and on others they make me want to have 3 more just like them.

Being without them on Saturday was nice- don't get me wrong. It was great not having to change poop or worry about getting anyone to the potty. It was fabulous to not have to worry about anyone climbing on the couch and accidentally falling off. It was wonderful not having to watch Noggin all day long.

Being without them on Saturday made me a little sad. It was disappointing to wake up and not have a three year sitting next to me in bed smiling at me. It was a little sad to walk down the hall and not have a little red headed face greet me with arms up in the air begging to be picked up. It was hard to not hear 'mommy' at all on Saturday.

Sometimes the bad days are really overwhelming and they make me just want to walk away and maybe not turn back. Most days the bad days just make me want to lock myself away for a few minutes. This weekend I got to walk away for a bit and for that I am beyond grateful. I'm grateful because I did get a break from my kids. I got to enjoy a day and a half all by myself. I got to shower without having to worry about someone screaming or waking up- TWICE! I got to enjoy my wedding anniversary with my husband. I got to go out to dinner and not have to worry about paying the baby sitter when we got home.

I am grateful because I got to see how great my kids are and how much they make my life worth living. I got to see what I'd miss out on if they had never come to be. I got to see that the bad days are always followed by good ones and they always outweigh those terrible, no good, days!

Thanks Mom and Dad, you gave us such a great gift!!


Huckdoll said...

Happy belated anniversary, Stella!

My parents are taking the girls for the weekend the weekend after next and I'm already getting apprehensive, to be honest. They've never been there for more than one night and each time they are, I end up sleeping with their blankets or clothes or something.

I think it's totally natural to have those bad days when all you want to do is throw up your hands and drive away....but weekends like the one you had help put things in perspective.

We have good kids.

Alison said...

how wonderful Stella...I am very happy for you...I know the mixed feelings of missing them, but enjoying your time alone also...

Helen E.M. Wright said...

I like to think of it more as 'time to miss my child' rather than 'alone time'.

Sounds like you had a great weekend!!

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