The Return

It's been awhile.

Now that Summer is just about here I have a feeling I'll be on here a bit more. 

A good amount has happened in the time since I've been gone.

To sum it all up, we are currently expecting twins in November-ish, I have already been on bed rest once for heart issues, our house is going on the market this weekend, I've decided to keep the kids home with me all Summer, and the softball team that I am the assistant coach of has made it to the state finals and we have our game tomorrow.

All exciting and stress inducing things.  And all things that have been weighing on my mind, my heart and my hips HEAVILY.

As of late, I've been either allowing my hormones to the get the best of me or I'm really starting to feel the reality of the changes we're experiencing and anticipating or maybe, just maybe, it's BOTH!

The past few days have been especially hard for me because I'm starting to feel as if I'm allowing other people's expectations of me and my life to get the best of me.  The overwhelming sense that the way I see things unfolding is not only NOT going to happen but if it does, it's totally wrong.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have learned my lesson with regards to making plans.  God laughs and it goes in a totally opposite direction from where I expected.  It almost always turns out in a positive way!  But I've started to play my cards very close to my chest because I'm beginning to feel like people have an idea of what I should or should not be doing or how I should or should not be getting ready and really, it's none of their business.

I have expectations of myself and these next few months and my family and whether or not they are met is yet to be seen.  But that's no one's issue except mine, and really it's no one's business except mine.