Monday, January 31, 2011

Bottles and Diapers

There's an empty baby bottle sitting on my desk at work right now.

It's supposed to raise awareness for Pro-Life.  It's supposed to collect money to send to a foundation that supports young women who choose not to abort their babies.

All it's doing right now is messing with my head.  As are the signs promoting the pro-life club.  As would the beeping metronome meant to symbolize a heartbeat had I allowed it to be placed in my classroom.

I don't really want to talk about Pro-Life.  I'm not looking to get controversial right now. 

But seriously this freaking baby bottle sitting on my desk, "staring" at me is NOT helping.

I have two cases of diapers at home.  Unopened.  In my crawl space.  They sit there with two boxes of bottles and a box of plastic inserts.  I was being prepared.  I was following the advice of other moms and buying a pack or two of diapers each week so that I wouldn't be inundated with diaper purchases after the baby came.  I was excited.

Two weeks ago I finally had to ask my husband to do something with them.  I couldn't stand having them sit in our front hallway anymore.  I had thought about returning them and using the money for booze, because really, it's coming in a lot more handy than diapers are right now.

But that allowed the negativity in and I'm REALLY trying to NOT allow the negativity in.

BUT DAMMIT this freaking baby bottle sitting on my desk is NOT helping.

Yeah, I could put it away.  Yeah I could say a student swiped it.  Yeah I could just ask that I not participate.  But life goes on, right?  And baby bottles are going to be there and diapers are going to be there and babies, in general, are going to be there.

And eventually, hopefully, they'll all be together again in my house.

But for right now, this baby bottle?  Really not helping my emotional well being!

*I promise that I will stop talking about this really soon!  Today hit me like a Mack truck and I think it's the combo of the bottle and being super duper sick and needing to be home in bed!*


Amanda said...

I can't even try to imagine what you and your husband are going through right now. If getting your thoughts out here help you get through your day then you keeping talking about it as long as you need to. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Colleen said...

First of all... chuck that bottle. It's a stupid piece of plastic giving you grief... and getting rid of it will not lessen pro-life awareness. Life goes on, yes. But why have it there in your face if it really doesn't need to be?
Chuck it.

Second... you go right ahead talking about it as long as you feel like you need to. Talking helps you work through. I, for one, am here on this page to listen to you talk.

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Oh Honey - I have been away from blog land and clearly missed a lot. Sending you love and kisses and a big warm hug that helps you get those last sip of tears out.

Ditch the baby bottle...

Brie said...

I 100% support you chucking it - if it's bothering you, punt that plastic bottle down the hallway ;) Like Colleen said, it will not lessen the awareness! Hope you are feeling better soon! xo

Miss K said...

You talk about it as much as you want. It happened to you and your family and you always have people who will listen. Throw the bottle away if it hurts too much. xoxo Lots of love.

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