I've been listening to the Indigo Girls quite a bit lately. And while my friend Wolfie thinks I've transported myself back to 1992 because I'm in denial about turning 30, it's actually because I really like the Indigo Girls and I enjoy their music.
I've been fixated on one song lately, "Watershed". And the ironic piece about my fascination is that I've listened to this song a thousand times over the years but the lyrics are just starting to make sense to me lately.
I feel like I'm being smacked in the fact with a ton of crap all at once. And, truthfully, I have a roof over my head (granted my ceiling is caving in), I have a husband that loves me and that I love, my children are healthy (except for that double ear infection and nasty asthma rearing their ugly heads), and I have a job that I ADORE. I should not be so consumed by these things that will, in time, pass and I will be able to deal with.
But I am.
Tomorrow I turn 30. Consuming crap #1. (That sounds gross, like I'm actually consuming crap but really I mean that turning 30 is consuming my being right now).
About two weeks ago I received a call from my doctor that my mammograms actually were not all clear. Consuming crap #2.
A few of my students are dealing with things that no child should EVER have to deal with and they have turned to me. I am MORE THAN HAPPY to help them, but it is taxing. Consuming crap #3.
We're having some interior issues that are being dealt with but I have a hole in my ceiling and it's sometimes disconcerting. Consuming crap #4.
And finally, I am being offered a possibility that could help my family exponentially and we could finally be financially more comfortable but I'm not sure that it would make me happy. TOTALLY ALL CONSUMING CRAP #5.
And here is where the Indigo Girls come in.
And I have done an AWESOME job of making my "agony" my heaviest load. I have allowed the possibility of what could MAYBE happen to overwhelm all of my senses.
I have, as they say, put the cart before the horse.
Every choice is worth your while.
And I have a good laugh.
Until every step you take becomes a twist of fate.