Saturday, October 17, 2009

And Here is Where I become a Judgmental Bitch

Very rarely do I find it appropriate or necessary to comment on how other people parent their children. We are all doing the best we can and what is right for me and my family may not be right for anyone else's family.

So, I try my very best to keep my mouth shut in all instances.

There are exceptions.

I think it's ok for me to call the parent that beats the crap out their kid for any reason at all a bad parent.

I think it's perfectly acceptable for me to pass judgment on the parent that calls their kid horrible names and puts them down simply for the sake of putting them down. They are doing a shit job as a parent.

And today, I'm going to take a leap and be ok with myself when I say I witnessed some horrendous parenting today.

I took my kids to a party at a family member's house. It was mainly this family member's friends and their kids, with a few other family members thrown in. Honestly, it started out being a fun day. The kids were looking forward to it. I was looking forward to it.

Then Mother of the Year (MOTY) and her beast child showed up. Please understand this child is clearly a beast because her mother has allowed her to become one.

MOTY drops her kid inside with my family member and me and my kids and then proceeds to go out to her car and talk on the phone for 35 minutes!!

The beast child, who is bigger than my almost five year old son, will be three at the end of this month. She proceeded to pick up every knicknack and small object around the house and carry them on her person as if they were hers. When my family member tried to take them back, the beast refused and freaked out!

MOTY comes back inside and proceeds to demand coffee and sets up her Angel, or beast, with a juicebox while my children look on longingly. Never bothering to offer one to us.

The beast gets all up in my little one's face and tries to take her hot dog.

Now, anyone who knows my daughter knows that you do NOT take food from her. EVER. The beast didn't care- she wanted that hot dog.

And where was MOTY you ask?


The day went on. MOTY left again to take a phone call and never bothered to let anyone know she was leaving. Just walked away. Where was the beast? Taking glue and pouring it all over herself while she ate cheese balls and screamed at everyone to get her decorations for her pumpkin.

MOTY returned and grabbed her demanded coffee and plopped herself on the couch while the beast went in the backyard, in a nor'easter, with no jacket, no hat, no nothing, and my family member's full size German Shepard. Luckily, another mom was willing to go out there and supervise and offer the beast a jacket. I believe the beast's response was, "No, stupid!" MOTY handled that one by screaming at the beast 45 minutes later when the "caring" mom was able to talk with MOTY about the incident.

MOTY pushed everyone aside to get food for herself and demanded her child's juicebox when it was time to eat and then demanded a seat at the table for herself but wasn't overly concerned about the beast. Know why?

The beast was on the front porch, alone, pouring bubbles all over the floor. That was after she had tried to use the mini-pumpkins as bouncy balls.

MOTY disappeared again because it was time to talk about her extra-marital relationship or maybe it was her husband's or maybe it really didn't matter because at that point the beast was in the midst of mocking my daughter and taunting her with toys and candy that I wouldn't allow my child to have because, well, I don't want her to look like the beast.

It was time to go. I had to leave before I said something to MOTY about the fact that she basically dumped her beast on to people she barely knows so that she could go off and do whatever the hell she wanted all day.

Lucky for me, I was blocked in the driveway by, you guessed it, MOTY and the beast.


We said our good byes. We said our thank yous and nice to meet yous. We accepted cupcakes graciously and happily. The kids gave hugs and kisses and I apologized for having to jet before dessert. And then MOTY was asked to move her car.

And it seemed like it was going to be ok, she claimed she was leaving, too.

Not until she took 16 pictures of the cupcakes that she and the beast would be missing.
Not until she got another cup of coffee.
Not until she forced the beast to the bathroom.
Not until she argued with the beast to get her to put down the bubbles and put on her coat.
Not until she took another phone call.
Not until she got everyone to help her out to her car with the beast and their bag o tricks.
Not until she made my blood pressure go up so high that I was reminiscing about being on bed rest and seeing spots during my second pregnancy.

I had to hold myself back from getting out of my car. Thank God for text messaging, Mobile email and the DVD player in my minivan, otherwise you would have been hearing about me on the news tonight.

I drove home and I could not help but think about how this was something I had never ever experienced before. I had never been around a parent that was that lackadaisical. When I take my children to places where I know there will be a lot of unknowns, especially people, I take extra care to make sure I am with them constantly. I do this for their safety and comfort and also because it is no one else's responsibility to care for my children.

Did MOTY know that she had basically dumped her child on everyone else? Did she know that her child was misbehaved and rude? Did she know that her child was a bully and mean? Did she know that she left such a sour taste in my mouth and the mouths of my children that it still makes me sick to think about the events of today?

Does she have any idea that her crappy ass parenting is making her child a total raging beast and she's creating problems for herself more than anyone else?

Probably not, I think she's on the phone.


Mommy X said...

Ok, you are NOT a judgmental have good judgment. Listen, I am also the last one that wants to attack the way a person parents, however, when it is clear that there is NO parenting going on...well, I say game on. This woman clearly doesn't want to be a mother, she wants to ignore her kid and doesn't want to deal with the hard part of parenting, which is discipline. I think it would take everything in my being not to back my car into MOTY's car!

MomBabe said...

Ugh, I HATE that. And I love how those parents just don't understand hwy their child is acting like a beast. ugh. ugh. ugh.

Rhonda said...

Love this post. I do say things that stop the bratty behavior. But, I probably would have yanked little beast up by her ears and carried her to MOTY's car, where I would have ever so kindly knocked on the window, smiled at MOTY, and dumped little beast on the side of the car door. Oh, and that smile would have been a very "nice" smile with a "don't you dare send little beast back in w/o YOU!" Yeah, that kind of smile. Sorry, I know this is lengthy but nothing pisses me off more than unruly, ill mannered children. Another form of child abuse in my opinion.

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