Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Incredibly Fearless

My daughter is incredible.

We rock her before she gets into bed each night. We have been doing this since she was about 6 months old. Once she was able to get herself to sleep, we started rocking her.

Backwards? I think not.

So, each night either my husband or I (usually my husband since she is the biggest Daddy's girl I've ever encountered) get my daughter ready for bed and then we sit in her rocking chair and we sing some songs and when she's ready, she points to her bed and that is that. She's out in 10 minutes or less.

Last night I had the privilege of being allowed to be chosen to put her to bed.

Those moments are my favorite.

She ran into her room and stood in front of her chair and said, "Rock with me mommy."

We sat down and I asked what she wanted to sing. At first it was clap hands. I put the kibosh on that song pretty quickly. Clap Hands leads to dancing and dancing never leads to bedtime! We did the itsy bitsy spider and I watched in the dark as my daughter sang along.

Her tiny mouth, that can seem so large at times, formed each word with perfection. She sang along with perfect inflection. Her voice getting softer as she became sleepier.

We did Twinkle Twinkle next and she sang along with that, as well.

We only made it halfway through the ABCs before she pointed to her bed and asked to sleep. She was asleep before I made it downstairs.

My daughter is incredibly fearless.

We have been taking the kids to the park and having dinner there most nights. It's been nice. The kids eat and then run off all of their energy and by the time we get home we do baths and head to bed. It works out quite nicely.

My daughter adores the swings. She chooses the "baby swing" over the grown up swing. She does this because she can go higher in the baby swing than in the grown up one. She constantly asks to go higher and higher.

With each new height she laughs harder and becomes more excited.

With each new height my heart skips another beat.

She is incredibly fearless but I am full of it.

Fear, that is.

I pushed her the other day and as I watched her climb higher and higher it was all I could do to contain my anxiety. All I could think of was, "If I can barely deal with her on a swing, going a touch too high for my comfort, how in the world am I going to deal with her in sports and going out with friends and as a teenager!?"

I used to wonder how I could or would deal with two children.

I would hear stories of parents dealing with their child in the hospital and I would question whether or not I would ever be able to handle that.

Along the way, each obstacle and bump in the road that we have encountered, we have met and conquered.

I often talk about fear because I think it is the one emotion that, for me, is overwhelming at points.

My daughter is incredible and fearless. She throws her body in every which way and lives life to the fullest. She seizes moments, as a two year old, that I am afraid to seize as a 29 year old.

I may live with fear. Fear of overwhelming everything, but my daughter she makes up for what I cannot do.

Isn't that what we want as parents? Don't we want our children to go above and beyond what we have done and cannot do?

While my fear may be overwhelming and frightening to me, I often wonder if it is what guides my daughter. She conquers that which we tell her cannot be conquered and amazes me at every step.

My daughter is incredible and fearless and has been since she was conceived.


CrAzY Working Mom said...

This is an incredible post! I can relate so much to your fears about your daughter with my 3 year old son. He is also fearless! In some ways this is good, others it is dreadful.

Also, the rocking thing is definitely NOT backward. I made this mistake with my 2nd (being naive thinking it was my last) by rocking him at night and he just now (at 3) is able to fall asleep on his own, but if wakes in the night, it's not good!

mom said...

your daughter is incredible and fearless because her mother was and is incredible and fearless. I can still remember you defending a friend in kindergarten from a bully who was two years older. I can still see a beautiful little girl walking up and down the block, talking to everyone - even the "mean, old lady" who cried the day you (not our family) moved off the street.
Your daughter is incredible and fearless because she has a mother who was and is incredible and fearless.

melissa said...

that was a beautiful post!!
i love what your mom wrote!!

Merrily Down the Stream said...

It seems you are teaching each other. Lovely.

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