You know when I started this blog I started it because I felt I had a way to connect with other moms. We all have something in common, no matter where we live or what we believe or how many kids we have. There is a common thread.
We are moms.
We have kids.
We stress.
I feel like I may have drifted from that or maybe not. Maybe I just went in the direction I needed to go in. Either way, I do feel like I haven't spoken about my kids much. And there are reasons. But they won't be revealed right now.
But I will talk about my kids.
There are days when my kids and their actions make me feel like the worst parent in the world. More often than not it's because of my reactions to their actions. But sometimes it is just because of the way they act. And how I think that reflects on me as a parent.
Take, for instance, my daughter. She is, as they say, a piece of work. (To put it mildly.) The child is the most independent and fiercely daring individual I think I have ever encountered. She is not yet 3. All of this put together makes my life somewhat difficult. And, at points, embarrassing.
I do not want to crush my daughter's independence. I think it's wonderful. But if she is not the most stubborn little thing I have ever met, I don't know who is! Seriously, the child pushes every button I have and I think she has even installed a few new ones that are specifically just for her.
Potty training? Oh, we were almost done. Almost being the key word there. I think she got wind of the fact that I was thrilled to have her out of diapers before 2.5 years and said to herself, "Screw mom, I am NOT crapping on a toilet! And you know what? I'm going BACK to peeing in my pull-ups! THAT'S RIGHT LADY, NO BIG GIRL UNDERPANTS FOR ME!"
And you think she doesn't talk like that?
Have you seen her??
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Parenting Fail??
Posted by Unknown at 9:29 PM 12 comments
Thursday, February 18, 2010
The Open Door
Growing up my grandparents lived in a home where the door was always open. Always. (Except to the Sunday morning Jehovah Witness)
It didn't matter if it was a weeknight or a Saturday mid-afternoon or a holiday. As a matter fact, on the holidays I think their door was more open- if that's even possible.
This quality of my grandparents' family life is something that I know that my parents have tried to pass on and it is something that I feel I have completely absorbed.
When we finally moved into our current house I sent out 'We've moved' announcements (they were really cute- I used paint chips and the saying 'The paint has finally dried....') and at the bottom of each announcement I put that our door was always open. And it is.
My house is not always clean. Actually, considering our schedules right now, it's more often messy than it is clean! I do not always have a ton of food in the fridge or the cabinets. And we're not always equipped with out friends and family members' favorite beer. But our door is always open.
For a very long time I struggled with the idea that maybe people didn't realize that. Maybe people didn't see that they really could just show up at our house- especially if they had a bottle of wine with them! ;) I worried that people felt it was too far to visit- and I still worry about that. I was concerned that our friends felt as if they were intruding or were over too much. That our invitations were refused because people felt as if they were being invited out of obligation or necessity.
This past weekend was probably the first weekend where I did not have a game or practice or a lesson or something to do. The kids and I were F-R-E-E. The husband had to work but that's normal- to us. And I decided to send out a quick text and in a matter of minutes we had guests coming over for no other reason than they wanted to. They knew the door was open and were ok with the drive and messy house and minimal food. They just wanted to be.
And it was great.
And the next day, more guests. A quick invite. A simple plan and a dinner with wine and dessert was arranged and the house was filled with laughter.
All weekend.
I vividly remember the people sitting around my grandparents' table and in their living rooms- both sides of my family. People who were not blood relatives, and some who were. All family. And all knowing that the door was always open to them, to everyone.
I carry that with me. I welcome people to our table regularly. It's part of why I love throw a party or have people over for dinner. It's part of what brings me joy and helps me to teach my children about the value of family and love.
Our door is ALWAYS open. To ANYONE. And it's in that door being open that I find my connection to family and friends. That I find my connection to something bigger than me. That I find comfort.
It is having that door open that creates the memories I hope my children carry with them into their own families and friendships.
Posted by Unknown at 12:32 PM 3 comments
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Censorship
So, I just pulled a very angry post off of here at the urging of a good friend.
It was about my family, my extended family and if you'd really like to read it you can email me or find me on FB. I saved it. But in the interest of not starting a family wide war and not wanting to hurt feelings and again, being the bigger person, I felt it best to remove my words.
I hate that.
They were my real feelings. I am really angry with my extended family.
Not my husband. Not my kids. Not my parents. Not my in-laws.
My EXTENDED family.
If I go any further it will be just as bad as if I had kept the post up.
It does bother me that I have to curb my feelings here because of who reads this. And really, I don't think any of my extended family even reads this. I keep feelings and words to myself because I don't want to start anything. I don't need emails flying and comments raining down on me. I don't feel like dealing with shit storm that could result from some things that I have wanted to write.
And now I'm stuck.
I removed a post today and I'm not sure that I've ever done that before. And I'm not sure how much I like the feeling that comes along that removal. I've censored my feelings to protect other feelings and ironically enough, that's part of what the post was about. And I feel like I'm doing that a lot around here.
And I'm tired of that.
Posted by Unknown at 12:54 PM 9 comments