Monday, November 23, 2009

I Learn Something New Every Day

If there is one thing that I have learned in the almost 7 years that I've been married it's that I know very little about being married.

Every day I learn something new about marriage and my husband and how to make things work.

Our first year of marriage was hard work. Every year since then has been hard work but it has been worth it.

There are days that we argue.

There are days when we can't stop laughing with one another.

There are days when we don't even see each other.

There are days when my husband supports me.

There are days when I support my husband.

Today was one of those days.

My husband works hard. I mean really hard. He busts his ass at just about everything he does. He works two jobs and until recently he was in school full time, as well.

When we got married he was working in sales and was a top performer every year. The company he worked for SUCKED. In every single way this company sucked. When the opportunity arose for him to get out he jumped at it. It was an adjustment but we rolled with it and dealt with all of the changes that came with the new job, new company, new responsibilities, new schedule.

The new company was really great. Great people. Good pay. Great benefits. Okay schedule. Not bad commute. And my husband was really happy.

He moved up quickly. Raises and promotions. He was motivated to continue working hard and never looked back.

Until today.

He was up for a pretty big promotion. A really big promotion that had all but been promised to him.

He had been groomed for this position. It. Was. His.

Until it wasn't.

Tonight he came home and it was time for me to support him. It was time for me to be there for him. It was time for me to put aside my crappy ass day and my ultra high stress level and listen as he ranted and raved about this "injustice".

And it is an injustice.

This sucks for him. He deserved this. He wanted this. And he is so very upset about not getting it.

Tonight, over dinner we talked. Or really he talked. I listened. I offered words of encouragement and sorrow. I shared his anger and his pain. And then offered optimism.

Maybe this is all for the best. He may not be getting a promotion- yet- but he got a raise and he is being moved closer to home.

That doesn't erase his need for comfort and compassion.

And it doesn't erase the fact that he needs to know why he passed over.

But tonight I learned that I am his compliment and he is mine.

Tonight he is hurting and I want to make it stop for him but all I can do is listen and offer some optimism.

And that is the something new I've learned today.

That, and sometimes it really sucks to get passed over for the one thing you wanted and deserved.


trifitmom said...

so sorry....glad you guys have each other

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