Wednesday, November 18, 2009

As Quick As She Came, She Goes

We got a dog and as quickly as she came, she will be going.

Before you jump to every conclusion you can think of let me tell you a few things:
My husband and I discussed this quite a bit
We searched for just the right dog and made sure our kids met the dog first
We prepared ourselves for the work and time commitment necessary for having the dog
We readied our home and our hearts for the pup
And we got images in our heads of how this was going to go and hoped for the best.

We brought Tilly home on Monday night and tomorrow morning I will call her foster parents and let them know that this will not work.

It's not about the 5am walks.
It's not about the poop and pee (outside only).
It's not about the afternoons at the dog park.
It's not about any of that.

Our daughter is so terrified of the dog that she refuses to be in the same room with the animal.
But our son is so in love with the dog that he wants her to sleep in his bed with him.

Did we make a mistake getting a dog? No, I firmly believe we did not. I think the next few days, as we prepare to give Tilly back, will be hard but it is right thing to do.

Let me tell you something, though, Tilly is unbelievably smart and just a wonderful dog. Seriously.

I have struggled with this decision in certain respects. How do I disappoint one child when another one is so fearful that when I pick her up at school she greets me with, "Mommy, I don't want to keep the doggy"?

How do I leave one child alone with a new, unpredictable dog that is normally friendly and kind but could turn at any moment?

How do I leave one child upstairs to watch tv alone while I watch my other child with the new dog?

I don't.

My husband wants this work. My husband wants my daughter to love this dog and get used to her. My husband thinks we just need to keep giving it time.

My daughter cries when she sees the dog in the car when I pick them up at daycare.
My daughter requests to sit on the counter in the kitchen while I cook dinner because then the dog can't get her.
My daughter requires that I carry her around so that the dog can't come anywhere near her.

Each day- and granted it's only been two- has gotten worse.
Right now, my daughter is on my left side in the dining room because the dog is on the couch sleeping soundly. She will not even entertain the idea of going near the couch.

This has been hard because I wanted this, too. I wanted it to work out and for our family to have a wonderful friendly pet. I had the image in my head that my husband did and it's not showing up for us.

And as quickly as she came, she will go and it will be sad and hard. But it is for the best. My children- one or both- come first at all times.

I fully intend to accept all responsibility for having to give Tilly back. I will not have my son resent my daughter for her fears just as I would not allow my daughter to resent her brother for his desire to keep the dog.

I'd rather they both hate me and deal with that. It's much easier because I'm secure in the knowledge that I've done what is absolutely the best for my children and my family and the dog.

Bye Tilly, you were a wonderful pet for the two days we had you. Now you belong with a family that will ALL love you and care for you.


Brie said...

Aw, that's so hard... I'm sorry it didn't work out.

My kids want a dog so badly but I'm not fully on board yet! I'm trying :)

Good luck to you all and Tilly too

Miss K said...

I think you did the right thing. That must have been hard.

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