Friday, November 7, 2008


I wanted to update all of you.

You've been so kind. So many of you have offered wonderful words of encouragement and prayer and thoughts.

I am so grateful.

Apparently, the second opinion was a good idea. Duh.

I'll talk about what held me back later. You know part of that.

WELL, not to knock on my OB/GYN but she sucked wind on this one.

I saw my primary. He is the perfect balance of doctor and friend and comedian.

He was dumbfounded at my OB/GYN's decision. Regardless of what she found. I am young and more action should have been taken.

He did an exam. We talked. He did some more exam.

He found a lump.

Not a cyst. Not nothing. A lump.

PS-I totally hate that word. Lump. It's kind of like p@nties. LOATHE that word!!

He found a lump somewhat near to my discomfort. The lump itself is not really painful, the area around it is.

He found a lump just centimeters away from where the cyst is. The same place that my OB/GYN looked and didn't find anything.

Maybe it wasn't there initially. Maybe I needed to wait these two weeks or so for it to be found. I won't visit that right now.

My doctor found a lump in my right breast.

I had a chest/rib x-ray just to be sure and get a picture of what's in there.

I have an appointment for the first available mammogram and ultrasound. Tuesday morning.

I have many feelings about this. Right now, I'm not ready to put them out there.

I've talked about them a bit. I've shared them a bit. I've been distracted since yesterday by work and friends. I plan to continue the distraction into tonight with a mini girls night. Then again, tomorrow, with Playhouse Disney Live, aka Hell in the Meadowlands!

I'm sure in the downtime thoughts will invade my mind and that's ok. I'll take them as they come. Just as I'm taking this as it comes.

I have to say I feel better. I feel as if I'm doing something. I feel as if I'm being pro-active. I am glad that I got the second opinion. Duh.

It is what it is and we move forward now. On to the next step.

It's a journey. Maybe not a journey I was planning on but it's here and now. And it is what it is.

Thank you.


A Buns Life said...

Hang in there....I'm so thankful you went in for the 2nd opinion. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones and keep as busy as you can until Tuesday. Hugs to you.

crazymumma said...

Thank goodness you went for the second opinion.

And now, the hell of waiting. Stay busy, treat yourself well, write your heart out. All that stuff.

We will wait with you.

Kate said...

So glad you went for a second opinion. Just hang in there and keep busy...Hell in the Meadowlands so like a good time! haha!

Deezee said...

fingers crossed for positive outcome...

Helen E.M. Wright said...

So good you went with your gut feelings!! Thinking of you, sending good vibes and hugs!

Thank you so much for sharing this!

Alison said...

I am so glad you got another opinion...please keep us posted...I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

the MomBabe said...

Oh, Yay! (That you took ACTION, not Yay about lump, which IS a horrible word)

Take lots of motrin before they squish you on Tuesday.

Kelley said...

Waiting is the hardest part.

Will be thinking of you on Tuesday babe.

slouching mom said...

i will be waiting, and hoping.

Huckdoll said...

Awww, Stella. Thanks for letting us know what's happening. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. Hang tight, my friend.

Major (((((HUG))))


Caffeine Court said...

The waiting is indeed the hardest part! I will pray for you.

It's so great that you are being so proactive.

Stay busy and think positive thoughts!! We're all pulling for you!

Colleen said...

So glad you went with your gut and got that second opinion. I just couldn't understand the waiting 2 months thing. I will have you in my thoughts and be praying for good things.

x said...

Everything will be fine, and glad you got a second opinion. I totally suggest you ask your hubby to buy you a nice piece of jewelry from to cheer you up and make you feel better.

When I went through some hard times, my hubby bought me a gorgeous diamond bracelet from the site and I felt like a movie star even when things were tough.

Momo Fali said...

Oh my goodness. All the thoughts and prayers you sent MY way?! I should've been doing it for you!

I hate not knowing. Hate it. It's so much harder to face the unknown. When they found my son's heart defect on ultrasound, we had to wait two weeks to find out what kind of defect it was. That was the longest two weeks of my life. Wondering if he wouldn't survive his first day...and, then we found out it was so rare they really didn't know what would happen. They told us that he would be born early, stay on a ventilator in an induced coma until he reached five pounds, then he would have open heart surgery. Even knowing THAT his fragile, little body would have that kind of trauma was better than NOT knowing. (None of that happened by the way. He didn't have heart surgery until he was 13 months.) Not that this IN ANY WAY compares to what you're dealing with...just the not knowing part.

So, all I can say is that are a lot of us who are waiting with you and wishing you all the best.

Kimmylyn said...

Okay..see being late to the game is sometimes good.. tomorrow is Tuesday.... I hope you update via Facebook or your blog..

I am praying for you ..

Kadi said...

I am praying for you, Stella. Thank you for sharing your journey with us!

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