Kohler: Thy name is "god"

I prayed to the porcelain god last night...briefly. I hosted a neighborhood Ladies' night In last night and found out all too quickly that I can't hold my liquor anymore! Where did that come from!?!? Three weeks ago I spent four days drinking each night during my residency and I was FINE, but one night in and some Sangria apparently push me over the edge. What a wake up call! I'm old...I think...or maybe Sangria just isn't my friend or maybe my meds pushed me over the edge...who knows! At any rate it was not fun, gripping my cool white Kohler toilet for those brief few minutes. It made me think back to those college nights...you remember those nights. The nights where sleeping on your gross dorm bathroom floor seemed like the BEST IDEA EVER! Don't deny it, I know you remember them because a few of you were right next to me on that floor!
I guess I never thought that a suburban ladies' night would have me right back in that position. I woke up this morning and my already shot memory was even more shot courtesy of last night! One of the side effects of my "medical condition" is a lack of memory, mainly short term, and a lack of concentration. Sounds great right? Mom of two, teacher of 150, graduate student in counseling, can't remember her own name or the words that come out of her mouth and just doesn't have the stamina to listen! OY! Today, other than not being able to remember much of last night's conversations, I could not remember the word Provolone. I had just bought olives at the supermarket and they were stuffed with Provolone and for 5 minutes my mom had to name every cheese she could think of that they might stuff into an olive before I finally said, "you eat it with salami". That's how I got to provolone! You know why I connect provolone and salami?? Because one of my oldest friends- not old like she's 90 but old like we've known each other since we were 5- used to always eat salami and provolone with mustard on white bread for lunch. GREAT! I can remember what she ate for lunch 15 years ago but grasping the concept of whether or not I brushed my teeth this morning escapes me.
So, that's what I'm blaming last night on. I couldn't remember which drink I was on or how many I had had, that's why I drank so much. I'm not old...I can still hold my liquor...I just can't remember how much of it I've actually consumed!